


Horrors of Akuze

by DalishGrey



Series: The Redacted Files [1]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Akuze, Angst, Angst and Feels, Attempt, Earthborn (Mass Effect), Established Relationship, F/M, Feels, Female Protagonist, First Meetings, First major Mass Effect fic, Friendzone, Intimidation, Left alive, Male-Female Friendship, Mass Effect - Freeform, Military Ranks, Minor Character Death, Minor Original Character(s), OC love interest, Origin Story, Original Character(s), Other, Pre-Mass Effect 1, Sole Survivor (Mass Effect), Survivor Guilt, Suspense, Thresher Maws, Trauma, eventual ptsd, unexpected 'visitors', well shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-19
Updated: 2017-04-12
Packaged: 2018-05-07 12:58:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 29,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5457320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DalishGrey/pseuds/DalishGrey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They'd gone dark and there was silence. Complete silence.<br/>She volunteered. Eager to prove herself.<br/>A comforting smile, a subtle touch out of sight. It would have been enough to calm the nagging feeling in her gut. But it wasn't...this was something she couldn't shake...and for good reason.</p><p>Night dawns and she realizes.<br/>It's survival, or nothing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I tried rewriting this, but it may still be abit rough :3  
> I hope you enjoy my attempt at mild angst haha :)
> 
> (Please leave feedback! I welcome any comments, they're truly helpful)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day she decided to join the Alliance...was an interesting day. Gang rivalry, unsettled debts, vengeance, and strangers who would become more important to her than she ever would have thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've done a little bit of a rewrite, but I'll be doing a proper one eventually :)

A pale grey hue lingered in the air, despite the sun's warmth. She put it down to the foul mood that clung to her, buzzing around her head like a little cloud. Cars passed swiftly, blurred into blotches of random colour in the corner of her vision.   
  
Her brow furrowed as she read through her paperwork, only to be jarred from her trail of thought as he scar on her abdomen started stinging when the unwelcome image of Finch's snarl flashed fresh in her mind. Though she claimed a strange peace when she thought of how much shit she beat into him in return. Her head pounded, the pulsation moving only a fraction quicker than the hammering of her heartbeat in her chest. She stopped in her tracks, hands trembling faintly.  
  
She was doing the right thing, it was for the best, it was what  _she_ needed.   
  
The young woman sighed and placed the file at her feet, before tying the unruly waves of her dark hair, away from her face. She had to at least look a  _little_ bit presentable when she strode in through the front doors. Every ounce of her wished she was doing it under better circumstances, but she knew it   
  
Her senses heightened and she noticed the pounding of multiple footsteps, slowly getting faster.  
  
_They found her._

"She went this way!" a voice bellowed, the heavy thundering of their running, rounded the corner and her heart jumped to her throat.

"Fuck!" she hissed and picked up pace, sliding her paperwork into her bag before running as quickly as her feet could carry her. The concrete bit through her shoes, but she barely noticed it, carried by her need to get away from them.  
  
_'They're not gonna stop me, not today.'_  
  
She heard the familiar voice of Finch as he called after her, taunting her, threatening. But she was determined to see it through. Quickly, she glanced back, but it was a moment too long. As she turned to face ahead, a booted foot appeared in her vision and she didn't have time to stop, sliding to a halt, only for his foot to collide with her jaw. She cried out in pain as she crashed to the floor, her elbow meeting the concrete.  
  
"Look lads! Tessa's all dressed up!" He chuckled and clapped his hands mockingly. "You must have nicked that from somewhere nice!" Finch grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled her to her feet, smiling maliciously. She pushed him away.  
  
"Piss off Finch, I'm done with the Reds!" she spat, her lips and chin stained red with blood, leaving a bitter, metallic taste in her mouth. The shadow loomed over her and a hand reached out for her neck. Before he could think, she swiveled on the ball of her foot and her knee collided with his ribs, the sickening crack of bone leaving her unphased. He doubled over, blood pouring from his mouth with a slow fervour. She laid into him with as much force as she could manage, her vision swirling and knuckles whitening as every cell in her body seethed with rage. Her loosened hair fell in front of her eyes, swaying with each frantic punch.

She staggered back to her feet, staring down at the boy bloodied and bruised on the floor. A closed fist met the back of her head with a force that sent her tumbling forward and into the embrace of a stranger. Two long arms snaked under her own and lifted her to her feet. She looked up at the young man, he peered down at her with a furrowed brow and narrowed, mocha eyes.

"What's going on here?" he asked, holding her close as he assessed her attackers. She leaned against him, her head throbbing and eyes struggling to focus as the concussion set in. His chest heaved and on his features, she could see the adrenaline that coursed through his veins.

"I shoul-I should go..." she murmured, pushing away from his sculpted chest, he felt warm beneath her fingers, strong, familiar. One of them lunged forward, reaching for her now untied raven waves. His path was cut short as the stranger threw a fist, connecting it with the man's stomach and then upper-cutting to his nose. A spurt of crimson erupted from the man's shattered nose and splattered across the pavement, a quiet whimper passed through his lips. With a deep breath he turned to the young woman that stood behind him, flashing her a quick smile before swiftly kicking the downed young man in the stomach.  
  
He moved with a staggered fluidity, some attacks were practiced and trained, others obviously more for damage. He sighed with relief, having made little work of the small group, and now turning his attention back to her.  
  
She stood with her brow quirked, trying to blink away the blurriness yet unable to hide the fact she was blatantly impressed.  
  
"You alright miss?" he asked, offering her an arm for support as he lead her away from them, moving as quickly as she could manage.  
  
"Yeah, I'm fine, they've done a lot worse in the past," she chuckle dryly and lifted a hand to her jaw, with a single, cautious movement she wiped away the blood from her jaw, the crimson barely standing out against the black of her jacket sleeve.  
  
"Good, I'm glad you're alright." He smiled softly. "Oh, I'm Daniel Toombs by the way," he chuckled, offering a hand for her to shake.  
  
She did so gladly. There was something about him, something familiar that told her...she could trust him.  
  
"Thank you, for helping me," she sighed, groaning when her ribs throbbed in protest.

He smiled brightly, a beaming thing that cut to her heart and made her smile in return.  
  
"It's no problem, I have a doomed saviour complex, I see a pretty girl and I just _have_ to save her." He winked, puffing his chest out in display. "Nah, honestly? I live across the street, I've seen those tossers around, I'm just glad I got there in time," he stated. The sense of honour and honesty that radiated off of him, caught her completely off-guard, but maybe, just... _maybe_ , there was a friend in him.  
  
They walked down the road, his body close to hers in a protective stance. He smiled down at her, with a genuine kindness that she found to be nothing short of rare.

The two of them turned the corner, a large white and steel building towered above them and she exhaled deeply. A gentle breeze blew stray tendrils in front of her eyes, as she gazed up at the imposing structure.

"And _this_ is my stop." She looked up at the building and the insignia that rested above the door. _Alliance Headquarters_. _  
  
Alliance... Duty. Honour. Commitment... _ Could she really do it?  
  
_'Well shit...'_

"Want me to come with you miss?" he smiled softly, hands in pockets as he looked at her awkwardly. She could feel his concern and was genuinely touched by the notion.

"Sure, who knows when I'll need my knight in shining again eh?" she chuckled, hitting him lightly in the stomach, her strides were low and slightly hindered from when she used her knee. The young woman hadn't considered if the snap was his ribs or her knee cap. Either way, she was in pain. He ran a hand through his choppy chocolate brown hair and slid his arm through hers, keeping her upright. She couldn't restrain her grateful smile.

_'Bloody hell'_

"For the record, my name's not _miss_ , it's Tessa Shepard."


	2. Silence and Shadows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Pioneer team went dark. Nothing but static left behind them.  
> The Alliance sent the marine squad after them, eager to find out what had happened.
> 
> She knew there was more going on than what met the eye, but she couldn't prove it, not yet.  
> But the longer they spent on the surface of Akuze, the more her suspicions grew.  
> Now she had to battle, not only her tense relationship with Lt. Commander Donovan, but the inescapable feeling in her gut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I accidentally deleted the chapter (a.k.a I have a laggy laptop that apprently hates me)...BUT it's an opportunity for a much needed edit/rewrite :3  
> Hopefully I've grasped the situation a bit better and the relationships are a tad more appropriate for military life :) If you enjoy it, please leave a comment...and if you hate it, I welcome constructive criticism with open arms (I long to get better) :)
> 
> [ Here's a shout out to the people who gave me loads of constructive advice on the earlier copy: Vorcha_Girl, MizDirected and Orangeflavour Yawp...sorry but I lost your comments, but thankfully I edited it before hand haha...love you all <3 ]
> 
>  
> 
> (I've also given Tessa a small fear of the dark - nyctophobia...it'll all be explained haha)

**5 years later**

[ _\- Last transmission - Pioneer Team:  
_  
_'The settlements are progressing as expected. Colonization proceeding. Minor tremors, nothing that requires extra foundational stability. Maintaining communication with Alliance R &D.  
_  
_Next transmission will be inbound at 0600 hours.' -_ ]

  
_Hmm_. Shepard's eyes strained and she groaned, putting down the datapad. She'd read the transcription over and over and over again. There had to be something they were missing, there had to be. The screen to her left flickered and swelled, the planet falling into sight; shades of green and blue moving closer.  _Akuze_.   
  
_'How does an entire colony disappear? Where would they go?_ '

  
She sighed deeply, rubbing her eyes with the heel of her palms. Sleep held an appeal that refused to relent. Toombs dropped down beside her, breaking her momentary solitude, a familiar light of mischief in his eyes.

  
Absent-mindedly she traced a slender finger along the line of her jaw, feeling the dip and rise of her scar. It was a subtle reminder of a life she'd left behind, but it's what drove her. 

  
The ship suddenly lurched and made her fall softly sideways in her seat, snapping her from her trail of thought. A hand gripped her arm in an attempt to balance her and pull her up.

She smiled softly in thanks, silently grateful not only for the jolt that chased away the memory, but for the simple gesture from her friend that pulled her back to reality. 

  
He was a year younger than her, all dark hair and brown eyes, a brother in most respects. He had something to say and as she looked him in the face, she could see the words hanging on the tip of his tongue. 

  
"What?" She asked, trying to ignore his infectious enthusiasm, her head still minorly throbbed, making her regret staring at the glowing cyan screen for too long.

  
"You know what this is, don't you?" His voice would have burst an eardrum, his barely contained chuckle shone through his cheesy grin, partially deepening his tone. She bit back the reluctant laugh that tried to force its way through her irritation, as Toombs more-or-less bounced in his seat. 

  
She rolled her eyes and leaned back in her seat, her armoured fingers tugging on the loose strands of her dark hair. Irritated. Uneasy.  
"Please, do enlighten me".

  
He shifted forward, balancing his weight on the edge of the sturdy metallic seat.

  
"This is my first official _investigation,_ " he answered and bit his lip, wiggling his fingers in a strange display of excitement. She sighed and rested her head on the curved rest behind her, as she muttered under her breath, near a whisper. 

  
"You sound bloody five."

  
"What was that Shep?" 

  
She put the datapad down beside her, before pulling the wild raven layers of her hair back into a sleek ponytail and sweeping her fringe aside, exposing her eyes. 

  
"I said it's about bloody time." She answered.

He quirked a brow and poked his tongue out from between parted lips, aware of her correction.   
  
"Besides, this is routine, nothing to get excited about." She smiled halfheartedly in an attempt to convince herself, just as much as him. With a sigh she leaned back in her chair, the dim light of the hold made her want to close her eyes and let sleep claim her, it'd make life easier for a few minutes. Unfortunately it wasn't an option, so she sought a moment's respite. She'd be happier once they landed. 

  
The bulkheads creaked as the ship heaved, severing the momentary bouts of silence until there was no respite from sound. The inertial dampeners were playing up ... again. Every muscle relaxed as she closed her eyes, allowing her to lose herself in the soft hum of the engines and the subtle crank of oxygen filters. It was bizarrely soothing, a small comfort when surrounded by uncertainty. With her arms across her chest, she sought a rest, trying desperately to ignore the dull drumming of Toomb's fingers against the side of his seat ... thought it seemed determined to drag her out of her relaxation; it was quietly maddening. 

  
He nudged her softly and she groaned as he jutted his head in the direction of one of the officers.  
She glanced up at the one in question, dark blonde hair gently framing pale blue eyes, a stubble-lined jaw clenched as he looked at her with the shadow of a smile. Shepard shook her head slightly, mouthing the word 'don't' at the man across the hold. He'd been adamant that he'd been recommended for the mission, that his name had been put forward ... and she trusted him implicitly. Yet if she was honest with herself, she didn't really know what to think, but either way it couldn't hinder the mission. 

  
"You two been fighting again?" Toombs asked, mild concern toned his voice, but his eyes danced with amusement when she glared at him in panic. 

  
"Shut up," she hissed and cast a cautious glance around the room. Only two other people knew of her relationship with Lieutenant Commander Donovan, they wanted it to stay that way.

  
"Alright, alright! I won't pry. He's an idiot that doesn't deserve you, but I won't pry." He winked. His cheekiness, kindness and friendship was something she appreciated. He never failed to make her smile.   
  
"And for the record, no, we haven't been fighting."  
  
Things with Lieutenant Commander Adam Donovan were, _complicated_. He was her Commanding officer, only a few years her senior, but still she could keep up with him.

  
From the other side of the hold Donovan watched her, with as much discretion as he could manage. His pale blue eyes searched her, moving over her body with an ill-timed intimacy that made her squirm in her seat.

 _'Not the time or place ... I swear to God ... '_  
  
Her mind drifted to  how they started out, a young woman, two years into her training, catching the eye of a by-the-book officer. Eventually turning into stolen kisses in the solitude of a dark hallway, a passionate touch in the confines of her apartment, but it wasn't the same anymore. The passion and affection remained, but neither of them could stand hiding their relationship; it added a stress they didn't need, but one they were willing to endure. 

  
Shepard been packing for her deployment when he'd approached her, explaining that he'd also been signed up for the mission. He managed to calm her and explain, but none of it made sense to her. Time went on and any agitation was instead swiftly followed by mildly irritated growls, unanswered questions and a _very_ long night. Hands fumbled, caressed, gripped. Legs wrapped at his waist and fingers threaded through raven hair as they fell onto the bed. A heated night, born of frustration and ending in heavy breaths and soft apologies, but swiftly interrupted by an ill-timed message.

But now, as she looked at him from across the hold, she couldn't figure out what he was doing, aside from being too obvious. She loved him, more than anything, but there were times where she felt like she could have punched him with just as much ease.

 _'Pfft ... you know you wouldn't '_  
  
It took her a moment to realize Toombs was nudging her, in an attempt to draw her attention. Silently she scolded herself, realizing she'd drifted into a daydream. _This_ was why she had to stay focused. _This_ was why it was a bad idea, personal feelings aside, there were reasons for the regulations.

She looked to the man beside her, something played on his mind and she saw it in his eyes. She would have given anything to just sink into her friend's side. But she couldn't. An amused smile spread across his face and even that was enough to calm her, if only for a moment.

  
"You're lucky I like you _Corporal_ or I would have hit you by now," she murmured as she sighed and rested her head on the back of her chair.

  
"What the fuck for?" He sulked.

  
Her brow quirked at the sight of his pout, she almost felt sorry for him ... almost. 

  
"For being right ... and nosey." Her lips quirked into an amused grin as his expression changed to one of pride "Don't take it to heart, you should just be grateful I'm so _professional_." 

He couldn't help the scoff that escaped his lips, immediately regretting it as people cast glances towards them.

  
She smiled contently, but it gradually faded, only to be replaced by contemplation. She had bigger worries, worries that surpassed the trials of her off-duty life and bled into the professional. Those issues ranged from the rumours about her being shortlisted for N7, to the unshakable feeling in her mind and gut, that told her there was something more going on with the mission. Something they weren't being told. But she had no idea what that could be.   
  
A hint of comfort would have been ideal, but only a few things gave her it. Shepard took comfort in the battlefield, in feeling the ground beneath her feet, even in solitude and Adam's caress. Yet she also found it in simply watching or closing her eyes and right now ... those were her only options.  
  
She noticed that everyone looked around with unease, silently analyzing; tension and anxiety just as abundant as excitement.  
  
As she closed her eyes for a moment, she could hear every breath, feel the fall and rise of Toomb's chest as he sat beside her, she could taste Adam's name on her tongue. Everything seemed to strive for some sort of balance, from the personal and professional, to the worry and comfort.

  
Slowly she sat back up, her body aching. She recognized that most of the soldiers that had volunteered were fresh out of their training, fingers not yet calloused, armour still bordering on pristine. Volunteers seeking an adventure and a thrill. Though she wasn't quite sure what could be classed as a thrill on Akuze. Yet she was thankful it was just a routine op, otherwise she'd be worried as to how most would cope if it were anything more difficult.

  
There were a few other Officers and even they seemed to share her level of concern, though they wouldn't admit it and some dismissed it entirely. She could have easily fallen into a distracted trance, as their faces danced subtly amongst the occasional flicker of light above them, expressions constantly changing.

  
Withdrawing back into herself, she rolled her shoulders, letting relief wash over her and almost elicit a soft moan.

  
Toombs glanced down at the woman next to him, he watched carefully, troubled, worried. He knew something pulled and played with her mind, but he wasn't sure what. He forced away the urge to run his lightly armoured fingers through her hair, regulations and a boyfriend in his way. Several people looked in their direction. Everyone knew they were close, though not many knew of her relationship with Lieutenant Commander Donovan, but it wasn't enough to stop speculation.

  
The soft crackle of the intercom ceased as a stern voice rung out.

  
"E.T.A five minutes!"

  
_Finally_! She jumped out of her seat and to her feet, nearly hitting Toombs along the way. She flexed her armoured fingers before offering a hand to pull him up. They put on their helmets with the fluidity of habit and Toombs smiled brightly from beneath his half-visor. Shepard watched closely through the thin slit in hers, she relied on her other senses when wearing her breather helmet, but it was her preference. With a roll of her shoulders and the sliding of her weapons into their places, she was ready. The next four and a half minutes were _excruciatingly_ slow. Subtly she bounced from one foot to the other, muscles flexing, blood flowing; eager to get out of the cramped hold and into the clear, unfiltered air.

  
A familiar yet soft crank filled the air as the large metallic doors slid open. Bright sunlight flooded into the barely lit hold, flaring in the darkness, glinting off of her thin visor. Toombs smiled down at her, before nudging her softly and moving forward. They marched out in unison. A decent sized patch of grass separated them from the dense forest that would soon swallow them whole. Shuttles hissed to life behind them and she cast her eyes to the sky as they rounded to land.

  
Toombs maintained his presence at her side as they approached the tree-line.

  
Shadows twisted through the trees, surrounding them in darkness, the only hint of the previously bright sunlight, being the beams of golden-white that pierced the canopy. The only sounds filling the silence, were the distant thrum of the shuttles engines and the leaves that blew softly in the wake of the thrusters, the unanimous grunts of running marines _and_ the snap of twig and leaf beneath their heavy boots. She took in as much of their environment as she could; trees with thick trunks stood in erratic clusters, clouds and open sky replaced by a shroud of deep green leaves. It was hectic, yet...bare. Empty.

  
The ground beneath their feet was uneven, rocky and made it difficult to run. Imaginary figures danced between the warped, yet uniform trunks. Teasing, taunting. She pleaded to God that nyctophobia was temporary. She was at least relieved it was only mild.

  
Shepard controlled her breaths and focused on the path ahead, using the glow of her comrades' torches to light the way.

  
She was glad it wasn't a long trek, desperate to get out of the claustrophobic confines of the forest. After a short while, the thick trees became sparse, opening into a large clearing at the base of a mountain. The mountain itself was dotted with emerald trees and tipped with rocky peaks that stretched to greet the sky; but at the base, the expanse was mildly desolate. 

  
The silence that followed their exit into the colony was unnerving. Everyone reached a stand-still once out in the open. Some buildings lay in masses of debris, shards of dulled metal sticking from the ground, rock and earth churned and overturned. Yet there were still some buildings that stood tall, in their uniform white and grey, typical Alliance. Everything pointed towards some sort of disaster, aside from unnaturally large piles of soil and rock that had been heaved from their grassy bed, scarring the otherwise picturesque landscape.  _That_ did little more than seem to baffle the company of marines.

Her heart nearly stopped in her chest at the sight, concern now clawing at every fiber of her being.

 _'What the fuck happened?'  
_  
The sun added a subtle hint of life to it all, shining softly against the metallic panes. There was no breeze, yet every fine hair on the back of her neck, stood on end. There was no noise, yet it was so... _loud_. She wasn't the only one on edge. Toombs stood slightly to her rear, weapon ready and his finger hovering over the trigger. They calmly moved towards the colony, eager to get out of the open.

  
Fifty Marines fell in line, splitting into ten groups. She visibly tensed as Donovan turned on his heel and walked closer, each step resonating with purpose. His eyes locked on her, toned with sympathy.

  
' _Oh God...What now?_ '

  
He stopped a few feet away, gesturing towards her squad.

  
"Beta, you're with me! Main complex and East Wing, move out!" He barked.

  
She sighed deeply, another worry now added to the mix. Shepard opened a direct and private channel.

  
"Sir?" Her tone held every ounce of professionalism she could muster. A brow quirked beneath his visor and a stubbled jaw tensed.

  
"Yes Lieutenant?" He asked, forcing his face into a stern line.

"With all do respect sir, what's going on? I mean _Beta_ , _really_?" She was agitated and understandably so, first they were stuck on the same mission, but to be stuck on the same team? A coincidence was seeming far and far less likely. Then it was combined with the secrecy of the mission; an entire colony vanishes and the Alliance doesn't know why? _Bullshit_. Insubordination on the grounds of curiosity, was strangely tempting.

  
"Trust me Shepard, if I knew, I would have told you before we deployed, I apparently got assigned Beta regardless," he answered, mild frustration toning his voice "now come on, we can discuss it off-duty later." He shook his head, smiled and straightened his stance.

  
"Aye-aye sir." She saluted, but still she was unable to shake the feeling that there was more going on.

  
He nodded, smiled and started walking back towards the rest of the group.  
  
Her smile faded and she groaned with exasperation, her fingers tightening around the grip of her Avenger. She wanted to know, she wanted some _idea_. Not just with him, but with everything. A deep sigh passed through her lips, fogging her visor. She chuckled softly and her grip relaxed.

  
' _God help me_ '

  
She ran quickly to catch up.

  
Toombs stopped in his tracks to wait for her, he eyed Donovan suspiciously as he jogged passed. They hated each other...something even Shepard was familiar with.

  
"Eyes front Corporal."

  
It was only a few moments before she was at Toombs' side and he could let out the breath he'd been holding in. They rejoined their squad, determined to press forward.

 

The grass crunched underfoot, crisp, green, only some areas seeming almost untouched. The contrast to the mounds of churned soil was confusing. She approached the closest patch slowly, her omni-tool bursting to life as she scanned it, the gnawing in her gut returning with a vengeance. 

With her lips pursed and brow furrowed, she caught up. The young woman looked around with curiosity, watching her every step carefully, her weapon raised. She couldn't shake the confusion, the _instinct_. Something _had_ happened. Something that left serious structural damage and no sign of the pioneer team insofar.    
   
Some patches of green were darker, whether from forest-born shadow or scorch, from this distance she couldn't tell. Her eyes narrowed as an obscure blur caught her sight. The grass was striped with a rich shade of a familiar red, clotted and scarring the ground beneath it.

  
She approached it with cautious steps and her omnitool flashed to life on her forearm.

  
' _Shit..._ '

  
"Commander!" She called out. His head snapped around to her at the sound of her voice, it was strained, urgent. His curiosity piqued and he was intrigued. He walked over with haste. "It's human blood sir, female, with high concentrations of a strange acidic compound." She tapped at the tool, reviewing every piece of information. With a quick wave of her arm, she sent him the data. 

 _'How did we miss this?!'_  
  
He took a moment to review it, a shadow of concern flickering across his lightly stubbled face. He swore under his breath.

  
"I see..." He closed his omnitool and cast her a concerned glance, before he reluctantly turned and swapped his Katana for an Avenger "be ready you lot! Just in case." He turned his attention back to her and nodded. "Nicely spotted." He marched quickly to the rest of the group, before lifting a hand and calling everyone forward.

  
Toombs shot her a look of cautious contemplation, but she simply smiled softly beneath her helmet and jutted her head towards the rest of their squad.

  
"Come on."

  
They approached the east wing with caution, each marine as vigilant as the other, all equally as uneasy. Toombs and Shepard watched the rear, side to side and back to back.

  
She could feel agitation rolling through the air in thick waves. She tried to make sense of it all, but her head pounded as she considered every possibility. It was nothing short of infuriating.

  
_'Acid? The blood? She...melted? But what could do that? Did the same happen to the others? What about the mounds? What could make something like that?' Shit. Think for fuck's sake!'_

  
"Shepard!"

  
"Shit, Toombs!" She hissed, jumping a mile as the young Corporal called her. Every muscle in her body tensed. She hadn't realized she'd lost herself in thought.

  
"Sorry," he whispered, falling in line beside her, an apologetic smile on his lips. Toombs quirked a brow, his face painted with worry. She knew him well enough to know he'd be able to tell something was wrong. 

  
She refused to stop moving, gun raised and on a constant swivel, green eyes focused and sharp through the slit of her helmet.

  
The Commander had run on ahead, his back pressed against the wall as he fought to open the way. The heel of his foot, lodged in the small indentation and with a strain, he pushed. Donovan called back to them once he'd pried the door open, it slowly slid with a painful grind, metal rubbing against metal in protest to their intrusion. The faint thrum of the remaining power filled the silence.

  
"Stay alert!" He called back, taking the first step into the structure. Shepard let out a deep sigh and they all picked up into a steady sprint.

  
Something moved in the corner of her vision and she nearly stumbled as she slid to a sudden halt.

  
She waited, feeling the ground tremble softly beneath her feet and her eyes narrowed, an attempt to focus. She swiveled on one foot, her eyes looking down the sight of her weapon, aiming it across the field and towards what had caught her attention. Shadows danced and flickered, making it hard to discern whether or not the ground churned in the distance. But she felt the soft rumble none-the-less. She jumped, her reflexes at their height, the hand on her shoulder catching her off-guard.

  
"Seriously?! Stop doing that!" She growled softly.

  
"Whoa Tess, what's up?" Toombs asked. Brown eyes fixed on green, searching the depths for answers.

  
"Nothing, I just.." she quickly cast her attention over her shoulder. The ground lay flat. Even. Unmoved. She assumed it had just been a trick of the shadow, an illusion cast by the sun. "I thought I saw something, that's all, it's nothing." She knew it wouldn't be enough to convince him, but she trusted him to leave it alone. She smiled at him coyly, her helmet blocking all expression, except for her eyes. They said too much. "Come on, let's catch up with the others".

  
"Aye Aye Lieutenant Shepard, ma'am!" He rambled, saluting her mockingly and warranting both a roll of her eyes and a soft chuckle.

  
"Come on you two! Back in formation! Shepard, take point!" Donovan bellowed from the doorway. Shadow and light fluttered across his form, briefly highlighting his discontent.

  
"Yes sir!" she called, running at double the pace and taking her place at the front of the group. She passed him quickly.

  
"Stay focused _N7_ , we won't wait for you again," his voice was almost a whisper and the clipped, but harsh nature of his words were feigned. He felt the need to be harder on her when on deployment, it wasn't something he was used to, but he couldn't seem lenient. He also seemed to find the rumours, about her being shortlisted, amusing...and she seriously began to regret telling him.  
  
"Understood sir." She breathed deeply, raised her weapon and peered down its sights. The metallic doors jutted further open, welcoming her. "On your guard Shep..."


	3. Into the Dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The unshakable feeling. The instinct that gnaws at you until you yield.  
> Shepard knew that there was more going on, but all she needed was proof...and she was sure she was going to get it. She trusted her gut and she wasn't about to ignore it any longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was the most frustrating chapter yet, but the next should be quicker because the pace is now going to start picking up a little :)
> 
> I hope you enjoy!
> 
> Any feedback is welcome :)

It was strange. Empty. She involuntarily tensed, muscles rigid as she focused down the sight of her assault rifle. Shepard could feel Donovan close behind, the gentle vibration of his biotics reacted subtly with her shields and sent a bizarre tingle down her spine.

  
She couldn't stop the automatic glance behind.

' _Eyes forward Shepard!_ ' she scolded herself, forcing her focus ahead.

  
The sound of their advancing footsteps rung out hollow in the long expanse of the corridor. Gray and white tiles flickered with the dancing of dim lights. She'd expected to see a lot of structural damage, but there was...nothing, the section seemingly intact. 

With weapons raised they filed through the doorway, one by one, until they were all enveloped by the low light. The contrast with the outside world was strange, it was equally as deserted, but the darkness was unnerving.

  
The weak hum of electronics broke the silence as the compound truly came to life at their presence. She flicked on her torch and pressed forward, with Donovan, Toombs and the others close on her tail. Specks of dust filled the air, floating in trails of light. The inside of her helmet sparked to life in response.

  
"No signs of further structural damage," she stated, her soft voice accompanied by the faint crackle of the radio.

  
"Or the colonists," Toombs added, the concern in his voice was evident. A quiet voice echoed over their comms, one of the other teams reported in.

 

" _Understood, we've got nothing here either._ " Laska sounded equally as worried " _Delta proceed to the mining platform, all squads maintain radio contact, I don't like this._ "

That was _exactly_ what she didn't need. Shepard sighed deeply, her grip on her weapon tightened and every muscle tensed again. As the corridor opened into a large room, the small squad fanned out, searching every nook, every shelf and crevice, for some sign of what happened.

  
Paper lay scattered across the floor, datapads were strewn across the worktops.

  
"Check the documentation, maybe they made note of any suspicious activity...something that could give us an idea," Donovan ordered, gaining a quirked brow and soft smirk from Shepard. She was glad her breather helmet allowed less visibility of her face than most.

  
She could feel _something_ , her gut churned and she couldn't shake the thought that there was more going on. Toombs began gathering paper, scanning everything for information. Donovan's helmet hissed softly as he pulled it from his head, before he ran a hand through his dark blonde hair, slicking it back and out of his way. His brow furrowed and he focused on the console in front of him.

She turned her attention from him and began sorting through the datapads, hoping to find a hint. But all she found was further uncertainty.

[:- Recent shipment arrived on schedule and construction of the mining floor will be underway within the week. Local tremors shouldn't hinder our progress, but we'll proceed with caution -:]

[:- Tremors have grown more frequent, occasionally increasing in strength, but no additional foundational support has been required yet. Will keep Alliance Official upraised of our situation -:]

[:- Alesi,  
I swear to the gods, if you don't sort that report out asap, I'll kick your ass to Thessia and back. We can't afford to slack off when our deadlines are in!  
Sincerely (I bloody mean it), M.Romanov -:]

[:- Alesi,  
I'm kicking your ass. -:]

Shepard rolled her eyes, it reminded her of herself and Donovan (Adam). She cast the datapads aside, making a mental note for later.

"They made frequent note of the tremors in the area, are there any readings on them, sir?" She asked and looked up to Donovan, he didn't waver in his focus, instead simply gesturing for her to move closer with a wiggle of his fingers. He swiped a hand and turned, leaning against the work surface as the hologram appeared over the center table. She moved to stand beside him, his forearm was shrouded in the orange hue of his omnitool as he examined the readings.

His brow furrowed and he transferred the data to everyone in the small squad.

"Everyone take a look, tell me what you see," he stated.

  
She slid in place beside him and started comparing their findings.

"The tremors increased in frequency and magnitude after the installation of the mining platform, they took readings but didn't seem overly bothered by them," Toombs announced "I don't see what it could have to do with the entire colony disappearing though." He had a point, there was little to suggest it was anything abnormal.

"True, we should keep looking, but we can't rule it out...they could have evacuated." She shrugged softly, her eyes narrowed on the readings and she still couldn't shake the feeling in her gut. It had served her well on the streets...but now?...now she hoped it was wrong.

"Agreed, Eli? Sascha? Go and check the next room over, Toombs, take Vale and see if you can get into the mainframe, be back in ninety minutes," Donovan ordered, not lifting his eyes from his omnitool.

With quick salutes, the squad dispersed, leaving Shepard and Donovan in the room, cast into solitude. 

  
Shepard rolled her eyes,, wishing he could restrain from being so obvious in his attempt to get her alone, but she knew his reasoning, she was easier to bounce ideas off of. Shepard chose not to look too much into it. She sighed quietly and walked over to the central table, she put her helmet aside and began tapping at the console, thankful for the familiarity, if only for a fleeting moment. Image after image fluttered across the screen, ranging from basic geographical reports, to an immense collection of information on the tremors.

  
' _At least now we know for certain that this is a lab...sort of_ ' she pointed out, musing in her own thoughts.

  
Silence dawned in the room as she found whatever information she could, transferring it all to her omnitool and distributing it throughout her squad.

  
Graphs and notes appeared on the screen in front of her, flickering and fractured, incomplete. But from what she could distinguish, the mining platform was the last thing to be installed.

  
**[Mining Operation Progress:**

**Mining Platform initialized.**

**Request further assistance in assembling additional sites for support throughout predetermined complex.**

  
**Pass at Mountain base has been completed, enabling passage from the North as well as through the tunnel, just east of the compound.**

  
**Plans proceed with near-maximum efficiency in most sectors. ]**

Something stirred in her gut, an uncertainty that began to tug and pull at her every fiber until it was nearly unbearable. The only reason she had, was the blackened pool of blood outside, even she knew that wasn't enough to go on, but she couldn't shake her instinct regardless. An involuntary growl escaped her lips and for a moment she could feel her comrade's gaze turn to her.

His eyes settled on her face, watching as shadow and dim light fluttered across her slender, armoured form, highlighting her furrowed brow and focused eyes.

  
She ran a hand through the few loose tendrils of her not-so-tied back hair.

  
"Shepard?" His voice was soft, but it barely registered.

  
"Sir?"

  
She couldn't understand why it frustrated and perplexed her so much, why it gnawed at her with every breath. Shepard cast a glance his way and took advantage of the momentary solitude they had, staying slumped instead of standing at attention when her CO addressed her. She could tell by his tone that he spoke with informality, but refused to step too far across the invisible line.

  
He took a step closer, his arms crossed at his chest, dim light dancing across strong features.

  
"What's on your mind?"

  
The question itself made her groan.

  
"I don't know, I only know that we're missing something, I have ideas but they're mostly unfounded and it's pissing me off...sir," she answered, her brow knitted tightly as she sighed with mild irritation. Shepard released the deep breath she didn't know she'd been holding.

  
"Okay, run me through what you're thinking." He added, fighting a sympathetic smile.

  
She sighed deeply.

  
"Alright, so we know that the colony was going well, they finished construction of the mining laser and the tremors increased in strength and frequency...until finally they stopped reporting," she began "but when we arrive to investigate, there's those mounds of dirt and rock, half the buildings are collapsed and there's no sign of the _actual_ colonists...aside from the patches of blood we found outside the complex, which in turn raises questions about that _bizarre_ acid." Every mechanism in her head worked to figure it out. She was potentially going to train to be an N7 for God's sake, she _could_ do this, that's what she told herself at the very least.

  
"You have some theories?"

  
She couldn't help but shoot him a look that spoke more words than she needed to.

  
He nodded slowly, understanding that he was merely asking her something she had pondered a thousand times.

  
"It just makes me wonder, wouldn't the scientists amongst to colonists have been careful with the placement of the complex? Taking the tremors into account before installing a mining laser?" She continued.

  
"Then there's the matter of the blood, and those weird _piles_ " Donovan added, leaning against the wall as she nodded in affirmation.

  
"Aye, but even that doesn't explain where _all_ of the colonists went, is it even remotely possible that someone could have been monitoring the colony? Perhaps deciding to take the facility for themselves? Combined with the blood, it seems like the safest bet, yet..."

  
"Yet there's no solid sign of any foreign influences or even a presence of someone other than the colonists," Donovan stated, his eyes narrowed in thought as he ran a finger across his lip absentmindedly.

  
"Exactly, there's no evidence of weapons fire, no explosives would have caused the damage we saw, whatever happened here, the Colonists didn't fight back." She stood straight and rolled her shoulders, every bone aching. " _That's_ why we're missing something."

  
Shepard assumed an hour must have passed by the time the rest of their squad returned, all looking as equally confused and at a loss. She looked at Toombs with mild hope, for an answer...for anything.

  
His lips pulled into a hard line as he shook his head, unease radiated off of him in uncharacteristic waves, letting her know his concerns were potentially the same as hers.

She felt as though her whole body vibrated, the ground ever-so-slightly trembling beneath her feet. Yet as soon as it passed, she dismissed it a simple waver in her shield, her senses heightened yet distorted by her restless mind.

  
"Any luck?" Donovan inquired, holding no enthusiastic hope.

  
The marines placed a few datapads on the central table.

  
"All we managed to find were itineraries and personnel logs, mainly personal documents, letters etcetera." Sascha answered, thumbing the barrel of her assault rifle "There was nothing to indicate any issu-"

  
A siren blared, filling the air with noise. Shepard's eyes widened and she began to swipe at the console, images flashed and fleeted, filling her with panic as the ground began to violently shake.

  
"Tremor!" Shepard shouted, trying to vocalize above the deafening rumble.

  
The marines clammered and fumbled, trying to find some sort of stability as they found out just how unsteady they were. She envied the biotics though, they held an unfair advantage as their barriers flared around them, protecting them from whatever fell and flew their way.

  
Her bones quaked, as though they longed to escape through her skin and everything else in the room shook in fractured unison. Wary glances passed from soldier to soldier, each barely coping as the tremor continued for what felt like an eternity. Shelves jolted, datapads flew across the room and Donovan was nearly crushed by a stray filing cabinet. She had to stop herself from running to him. Everything was gradually thrown into utter disarray.

  
Toombs gripped at the table and Shepard could see the fear in his eyes. Yet there was a humour that lingered, almost as though he enjoyed fighting against nature as it tried to toss him like a ragdoll. She was glad he was there, his partial smile making it a little easier.

  
It was no more than twenty minutes before the tremors completely stopped, yet all anyone could comprehend, was sheer awe of the facility's sturdiness. Which lead Shepard to rule out neglect of tremor consideration on behalf of the scientists, in turn leaving the marines with very few options. As soon as she was able, she returned to the data on the screen before her, wondering what could have triggered the untimely quake.

  
"Is everyone alright?" Donovan asked, his eyes scanning each member of his squad.

  
The answer was a unanimous "we're fine."

Shepard brushed off the conversation that resumed once they were deemed to be safe, she was momentarily consumed by a single thought. Her eyes narrowed in concentration and ignored the gazes that turned to her as her face slowly hardened.

  
"What is it?" Toombs asked, his sight trained on the woman who gave him a single, swift glance that held more worry than she knew he cared for.

  
"It's nothing...possibly," she muttered, bringing up a large, extensive graph that burst with information. With an outstretched hand, she followed one of the specific patterns. "We had started to think we had figured out the cause of the tremors, assuming because they weren't an initially perceivable threat until the mining floor was established, that they were possibly started by the laser itself...and based on these readings, a few minutes before the tremor we just had... _someone_ activated the laser." She pulled up more information on a second, smaller screen, making sure it held all that she needed.

  
"What the hell?" Donovan lifted a hand to his ear piece and opened his omnitool with the other "Laska? You getting this?"

  
The other soldier's voice echoed through the room.

  
" _I got it and...Delta has gone dark, considering what you've just told me, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't worried_." Her concern flowing and washing over them all.

  
"Understood," Donovan answered, before turning his attention to Shepard "can you find a clear way down into the mine?"

  
She knew exactly where he was going with it, and she wasn't about to disagree. Shepard filtered through schematic after schematic, pulling up maps and blueprints.

  
"Here," she stated, pointing towards a particular tunnel "we can use the entrance at the base of the mountain, it's the most stable...and further down there should be a clear shot straight to the central mining chamber, where Delta was last," she added "there are a few minor obstructions...however, any path through the mine is going to be unstable to some extent, unless they catered specifically to withstand tremors...which is unlikely."

  
Donovan noted her veiled concern and nodded in understanding.

  
"It'll be dangerous, do you want us to look into it Laska?" His voice was tainted with concern, yet it held an ounce of hope that Shepard couldn't help but find endearing.

  
" _Aye, we don't have much choice, we need to find out what's really happening..and if you can bring Delta back..._ "

  
"Don't worry, we're on it." Donovan signalled for all squad members to assemble their gear and get ready to move out.

" _Good to hear Beta...and try to be careful, I expect to leave here with everyone in tow."_  
  
  
Shepard put on her helmet, picked up her Avenger and downloaded the mine schematics, knowing just how helpful they would be.

  
"Ready?" The soft hissing of helmets joined the hurried clink and grind of armour as everyone tried to be prepared. "Move out Beta!"

  
They ran in unison, filing one by one through the now dark hallway, the light of day having faded at the other end. Heavy boots thudded with added urgency, they couldn't risk taking their time, even more so now that they had Delta to consider.

  
It was mere moments before they were outside and making their way towards the mountain entrance. The grass held the soft crunch of bitter cold and they were enveloped in the near-pitch darkness of night. Stars flickered in the expanse of clear, black sky that stretched overhead. A bone-aching chill filled the air and _she_ knew that whatever they were going to do...they didn't have long.   
  
Donovan lead them with practiced ease, the light of his torch bobbing with every hasty step, his head snapping from side to side, high on alert.

  
The only sounds that filled the air, were the heavy pants of those she ran with and the faint thrum of the facility's generators as they grew distant.

  
The small squad arrived at the entrance, the mountain towered above them, but in front lay a deep unknown, a barely lit doorway that marked the way forward.

  
She cast a cautious glance to the people around her, faces all shrouded in shadow, they looked like nought more than blackened eyes and gaunt cheeks and it sent a shiver down her spine. Shepard took in a single deep breath and steeled her heart, she wasn't the biggest fan of darkness, it played too many tricks, but she knew what must be done and that was good enough for her.

  
Donovan slid to a halt and waited for the doors to part and Shepard released the breath.

  
_'Let's do this.'_


	4. Depths

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She grew up on the streets, hiding in alleys, rundown houses and dark tunnels...so why was it so hard to be in the mine?
> 
> Tessa Shepard has instincts that never lead her astray, but even in the dark she begins to wonder if she can trust herself. She knows she has to push past her lingering fears and be as brave as she knows she can be.
> 
> Soon, it could mean life or death.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has stuck by this so far! You honestly don't know how much it means to me :)
> 
> This chapter has been a pain in the ass, but it's starting to go where I want it to :)
> 
>  
> 
> I welcome any feedback, but just to warn..any inconsistencies with previous chapters, is down to the fact I'll be editing 2 & 3 soon :)

They entered the darkened hallway with cautious steps. Grey slabs of metal formed a makeshift path beneath their feet and tall lamps shone streaks of amber through their sole line of sight, barely illuminating the tunnel. Their torches stuttered, the pale white light making next to no difference.

She cast glances to her comrades, her eyes not lingering for long as dust clung to her visor, distorting the already faded images of her friends, all of them gaunt and shrouded in tinted shadow.  
  
Her heightened senses filled with the drum-like beating of multiple hearts and the rumbling groans of a discontent Toombs. The bitter taste of filtered oxygen grated on her palate, a minor side-effect of their beginning descent. Metal panels creaked under the anxious tread of their boots. Aching under the strain of the squad's advances. _Warning_. But it was either unnoticed or completely ignored by the rest of the squad.

  
From the scans alone she knew just how narrow their journey could become, wide passages almost sealed by fallen rock and collapsed struts, the knowledge brought her little comfort and merely made unwanted memories surface with a vengeance. Memories of windowless, metallic boxes and studded belts. The one, his form of punishment, the latter his attempt at making the members of his crew _tougher_. Only one of those had ever left physical marks and at the unwelcome thought, the dots of fading white scar tissue seemed to burn beneath her armour.

[ _She ran as fast as her legs would carry her. She wouldn't let them hit the apartment. She couldn't let them do that to him._

_It swiftly fell into view...and so did Finch. With as much power as she could muster, she tackled the broad shouldered boy through the doorway and rolled away from him as quickly as she could, ignoring the sting of glass and wood in her forearms._

_'I missed!' She internally cursed, her aim to protect the apartment, not accidentally wreck it._

_"What the hell Tess?!" He growled as he staggered to his feet, wiping the blood from his square jaw._

_"I'm not letting you hit this place," she coughed, struggling to get back up on her feet._

_'Fuck...How hard did I tackle him?'_

_"What's this? Tessie gone soft for the old man?"_

_"He's a good man! And I don't mean I've gone soft!"_

_"Hmph, we'll see 'bout that Tessie." He smirked. A sinister shadow flitting across his face._

_…_

_He'd put her in The Box after that, she'd managed to fight him off with a knife until something met the back of her head and she woke days later in the metallic, bitter cold darkness. Screams and shouts echoed throughout the base, Finch was nowhere to be found, but the rich voice of a recently earned friend was carried by the wind._ ]

_David Anderson_. He had saved her life in more than one way that day, and it all added to why the darkness chilled her to the bone, and why she was so adamant to fight it.

 _'I could do with your help right now sir...'_ she sighed. 

Shepard shook herself from her distraction and for the moment she drifted at the rear of the group, becoming instantly thankful for her best friend's presence at her side (even though he was an incurable optimist at times). 

She assumed he must have been watching her, with the way he checked for prying eyes before gently nudging her and sending a sympathetic smile her way. He'd always been aware of her fears, just as she had been aware of his. Even in the consistently dim light she could see the softness in his mocha eyes and the quirk of his lip. It was a small gesture that helped her to steel her heart and focus her mind, ready to battle the depths.

They began their slow, winding descent, unflinching in the compact passage; though they couldn't hide the subtle fear that lay abstractly etched on their faces. She could even see it on Donovan's face, but he hid it behind a carefully crafted mask, one that she knew well and herself was learning to bear.  

As they delved deeper, Shepard would have sworn it was sheer paranoia that crawled over her skin, seeping into her thoughts and clawing at her subconscious. But if there was anything she knew with a certainty, it was that she should trust her gut...and right now, her gut was scaring her shitless (even if she couldn't pinpoint why). At first she thought it was just a niggling fear, a small yet ironic phobia, but to use the term _fear,_ would be to use it far too loosely. 

 _'Get your shit together woman._ ' She scolded herself sternly. Shepard was annoyed at her own display of vulnerability, she'd grown up on the streets and running through tunnels, but she felt...useless, hindered by her own fears. She  _refused_ to let it hinder her, that's not who she was, so, like her many other internal musings, she pushed it aside.  

It felt ridiculous to give herself an order, it _was_ ridiculous, but sometimes it was one of the few things that worked. 

She shook her head and pressed on, in no way eager to get left behind.  

Donovan stayed on point, casting glances from side to side and over his shoulder. Shepard could feel his gradually growing caution, though it wasn't dimmed by their speed, as they all began to move with eagerness. Untouched by the rough stone walls, they ran, moving their torches back and forth, guiding every step as they watched with care. Donovan raised a hand, signaling that they were reaching another area for descent.  

As they all moved deeper and deeper, the air began to feel heavy, thick, weighing down on their armoured forms. Shepard could feel its push, it was subtle at first, but with every extra step it felt a little harder to breathe. 

The commanding officer quickly slid to a halt and Shepard nearly skidded into the back of Eli. She shot him an apologetic smile and tapped him solidly on the shoulder.  

Donovan had lifted his hand again, she watched the steady rise and fall of his chest as he scanned the passage with his free hand.  

It was eerie almost, as the silence crept its way back in, only to be replaced with a faint and distant, but continuous grind. Shepard kicked gently at the ground under their feet, the panels still lined their path, but the dirt and rock beneath seemed to crumble. It sent an uneasy feeling, wracking through her every fiber, the feeling that every heavy step threatened to make the stone fall away.  

Donovan's voice was quiet and firm, but carried a soft echo.  

"Alright Beta, mind your step."   
  
She got a strange comfort from knowing that he had noticed it too, the authority in his voice bearing something that made her stomach clench and her heart beat that little bit stronger. 

"And don't worry, as soon as we find the main controls, we'll get this oxygen going properly and communication with the surface back online." He smiled over his shoulder, but still maintained his quite tone.  

His gaze locked on her for a fleeting moment and she saw the brief glimpse of worry in his eyes, only adding to her own concerns. He turned away and continued the advance, leaving her to shrug off her lingering worries. If they were off-duty, then at times when either was feeling as they were now, they'd embrace and console, seeking each other's company to better their issues. But for now they walked separately, officer and soldier, apart but aided by their already mutual trust.  

To her side Toombs seemed to find the passing glance amusing, as though he thought it meant something other than what was intended. She looked at her friend from the corner of her eye and decided to ignore the subtle wiggle of his eyebrows. 

 _'Child.'_ She rolled her eyes, fighting the involuntary smirk that pulled at her lips. ' _Not the time or place Tess, get it together.'_  

She breathed deeply, phasing out the thoughts and the bitter taste of the air, instead focusing on the steady breaths she hoped to maintain.  

Without breaking his cautious steps, Donovan called through a private channel to Shepard. 

"Shep, I need you to scan and send me an updated plot of the mine."  

"Aye sir," she answered softly. Her fingers flew to her omni-tool and she challenged herself to multi-task: be careful _and_ scan. Luckily it didn't take long, her nimble fingers making light work of the task as she typed with practiced ease. "There you go sir." 

"Thank you Lieutenant." 

She could see him nod in appreciation before rounding a sudden corner. 

The lamps had become more consistent by now, the light they gave, shining a little brighter (whether out of necessity or convenience, she wasn't sure). The metal panels beneath them slowly became larger, thicker, but spread further apart, now looking more like structural aids than a path. Walls ahead were scattered with broken signs, paths were blocked by rock and the unwanted feeling began to rear its ugly head again.  

 _'Calm Tess, calm.'_  

The path they followed seemed to be slowly getting wider, leading her to hope that were nearing one of the mining chambers. Any metal panels began to spread, enveloping the floor, though they lay in minor disarray. Some protruded from the ground like solitary walls, while others appeared to be clawing their way on top of others, seeking some form of dominance. 

They marines exited the one tunnel and let out a unanimous sigh of content at the sight of the room. It was a surprising size, stretching out for several meters in every direction. Consoles lay perched against the one wall, only a few broken by falling rock. While the edge (of what was essentially more platform than room) was framed with a slender railing. It was all fairly basic equipment, standard Alliance issue for the outfitting of colonies. Though she had no idea why a _mine_ was needed on this one. The Alliance had their reasons, she didn't understand them half of the time, but she trusted them to be the _right_ reasons; especially when she didn't find the idea of insubordination particularly _appealing_.  

"Fan out Beta, but be careful," Donovan practically whispered over the comms, as he activated the map she had sent him earlier. 

She forced caution into each of her steps, her disliking of the room growing by the second. It was filled with a dirty brown and white light, although it was brighter than any other room, it seemed to cling to the small squad. 

Anxious. Focused. A bundle of emotions and states swept over her at once. Each fighting for claim over her mind. She sighed, wishing she could run a hand through her increasingly sweaty hair as heat seeped through the seams in her armour.  

 _'Bloody hell it's warm down here...'_ she mused in mild irritation, wishing the colonists had at least thought of air-con before their impromptu disappearance. _'Wow, very compassionate Tess...'_ Shepard scolded herself, surprised by her own trail of thought.  

Toombs whistled from his position across the room. He was stood by the railing, apparently impressed with the view, or lack thereof.  

"Find something pretty Toombs?" Shepard mocked, it wasn't her best line ever, but she was too warm to care.  

"More like creepy," the Corporal chuckled, peering over the edge and in to the gradually growing darkness below. "Looks like the power's out down there." He added, pointing downwards with a lightly armoured hand.  

"Oh fun." Shepard sighed, turning her attention to her omnitool, eager to update her scans.  

 _'Great, more dark, why not?'_  

She rolled her shoulders, groaning in quiet satisfaction as she wore away the aches she didn't know she had.  

Toombs gingerly placed a hand on the thin railing as he tried to get a better look at whatever lay below in the blackness.  

 _Snap._  

His yelp filled the air as he started to tumble forwards, arms flailing as he passed over the edge. 

Before Shepard knew what she was doing, she had pushed Vale aside and ran towards him. Adrenaline surpassing her fear as she leapt into the darkness with him. With one hand she grasped for his, while the other reached for the railing, a desperate attempt to stop the fall.  

" _Shepard!_ " Donovan shouted, his voice falling on deaf ears like a mere echo in the back of her mind.    
   
Her fingers wrapped around the metal and for a second it felt like they were safe, but when the wall rapidly fell within reach, she tried to pull Toombs away and took the brunt herself. As she made contact with the jagged rock, searing pain shot through her shoulder and shin. 

"Argh!" She cried, biting back tears as her joints pulled and every muscle in her arm seemed to tear. Her armour did little to stop her shoulder dislocating, the tell-tale pop ringing in her ears as she held the extra weight, while the sharp ledge pierced the plating on her shin. Her vision blurred and dotted as the pain spread, warmth seeping down her leg in the form of what she assumed was blood. She fought the whimper that crept onto her lips. "Toombs! You okay?" She called to the man below her, her hand gripping his bulky wrist. Her grip slowly waning. 

"I'm okay Shep, you?" He asked breathlessly, meeting her eyes as she looked down at him, concern flooding his features. 

"Just peachy Corporal," she chuckled with fractured, shallow breaths. A shrill creak filled the air as the railing began jar and break free of the ledge. The sudden jolt sent pain shooting up her arm and she groaned loudly. "Fuck!" Tears pricked at her eyes as her shoulder burned. She nearly choked on the sob that grated at her throat. "If we fall, I'll kill you."   
   
"Hey! _You_ jumped after _me_!" He protested. She would have laughed if she didn't need to focus.  
  
"Well I wasn't about to let you fall Corporal," she replied breathlessly, each move sent pain across her chest and up her arm. "Ah shit...'

Toombs tried to still himself  below, she could see the increasing worry in his eyes, especially as his gaze moved to her leg.  

Donovan appeared above them, stretching out a hand in an attempt to reach the two dangling marines. 

"Shit! It's too far!" the Commander hissed. "You three! Help me pull the railing back in to place!" He barked, a growl hanging on his lips.  

The three marines scrambled in to place besides the Commander, but all Shepard could hear was the scraping of boots and tired grunts. Slowly the thin, metal bars started to moan under the strain of their pulling. 

She tried to hold on, so she fought the dull, throbbing ache in her wrist. The railing fell further. 

"Stop!" Shepard ordered, her chest heaving with heavy breaths as she felt the pain spread again, enveloping her legs and arms. "It's not gonna work, the supports are more likely to give out before you even get us close," she sighed. She tried to pull them both up, even a small amount, she grunted loudly as she fought against the pain in her shoulder, but it was in vain.  

"We haven't got long, what else can we do?" Toombs asked, looking up her with sheer worry painted on his partially shrouded face. The darkness seemed to be creeping closer, slowly working its way over the man below her. She hated the dark, why did it have to be the dark? Her heart beat a little faster and a little harder as she tried to cast the fear from mind. Shepard had to find another way up. Her eyes traced the highlighted edges of the rock face and tried to come up with some sort of coherent plan, as quickly as she could.  

She glanced from Toombs to the ledge, it's wasn't much higher than them, maybe if she... 

 _'Got it!'_  

"Alright Corporal, I'm going to try and swing you, if you slip, push up on the rock," she stated plainly between sharp breaths, she turned her attention to Donovan "have a stasis field ready, just in case sir." 

He nodded in understanding. Toombs writhed beneath her. 

"What? _Swing?!_ Shepard, that could make the entire thing collapse!" Toombs squeaked in protest. 

"That's an order Corporal! Unfortunately my arm can't take much more and I've got a headache the size of Toronto, so unless you want me to drop you, do as you're told!" Shepard growled, all he did was salute with his free arm. She hoped he knew she didn't like barking orders at him, but the need to get to safety, erased her other options.

"Aye-aye ma'am." 

She started to swing her legs in back-and-forth motions, the muscles in her lower leg pulling as she fought to move through the pain. Her heartbeat hammered in her ears, blocking out all sound, and it hurt to breathe. Each movement sent pain searing through her arm and leg, wracking her limbs with agony. So she focused on gaining momentum and keeping her grip, though she feared it would soon fail. 

 _'Come on girl, you've had worse, you can do this!'_  

With every swing the darkness seemed to get closer, creeping its way up over the rock. It crawled and slithered, like a hand of pure shadow, trying to grasp at the light above.  

She looked down at her friend, his face shrouded and seemingly skeletal. A glimpse at what could be, if she failed to get him back on solid ground. 

"Toombs, get your helmet-torch on, I can barely see shit right now!" She groaned as she maintained her steady swing. With the flash of light, all shadow and hollow fled his face and she found it a little easier to breathe. "Good boy, now help me swing!"  

Toombs smirked at her hint of mockery and began to move his legs in unison with hers. His grunts of exertion melded with her own and within moments they had enough momentum to try the first throw.  

"Alright Corporal, time to go." She built up her energy into one final swing and she let go. 

He flew through the air with little grace, he reached for the ledge and when it almost within his grasp...he missed. 

"Now Donovan!" She screamed, everyone had abandoned the attempt to be quiet.  

The Commander slid forward, his eyes glowing bright blue as his biotics rippled over his armoured form. With both hands outstretched, he enveloped Toombs in a wave of blue energy and pulled him up over the edge of the platform. 

 _'Oh thank God..._ _'_   She usually found it unbearably attractive when Donovan used his biotics, but right now she was glad Toombs was safe...and for the loss of weight pulling on her aching body. ' _Danny's okay, just keep swinging girl_ ' She told herself, as she brought her legs back and forth. Relief at her friend's safety briefly taking the back seat.  

"I got you Corporal," Donovan sighed, he turned to the other marines "someone check him over!" 

Shepard maintained her steady swing, though she knew that she had mere moments before the railing would completely give way.  

"You ready Shepard?" Donovan called. 

"One moment!" She pulled herself up, maintaining the steady swing and taking advantage of the lighter weight. In one swift, but admittedly excruciating, moment, she swapped arms. The wind was almost knocked from her lungs, even more so as the rail creaked and moaned because of the shifting weight. She continued her swing. "Okay, I think I'm ready sir!" She was almost out of breath, her joints and muscles ached and the urge to sleep was slowly making its way in.  

"Right, on three! One!..." 

 _Swing._  

"Two!" 

 _Almost there!_  

"Three!"  

She leapt full force, but the ledge was just out of reach and as soon as she felt herself begin to slip, a thick-fingered hand wrapped around her outstretched wrist. Her heart pounded, the sound quickly dissipating in her ears as the remains of the railing broke away with a languid groan and fell into the darkness below. A strong pair of arms wrapped under her own and pulled her over the top. 

"I got you Shepard," he breathed heavily, looking down at the green eyes that regarded him through the slit in her visor. He pulled her away from the edge and laid her down with as much care as he could manage. 

"You're losing  your  touch, _sir_ ," she chuckled painfully, feeling too warm in the confines of her helmet. 

He laughed softly and sighed in relief. 

"I'll pretend you didn't say that, _Lieutenant_." His lips quirked slightly and his eyes softened. He quickly checked that no one was looking their way and when he saw the figurative coast was clear, he squeezed her good hand in his own. His biotics still floated close to the surface and she felt them seep through his gloves and trail along her skin. It sent a pleasant shiver down her spine. "Please don't do that again." He added over a private channel. "My advice as your _commanding officer_ of course." 

"I would make that promise, but when Toombs is on duty, he'll always need someone to save his girly ass." She smiled beneath her visor, raising her voice slightly towards the end. Relief swept away some of the pain. 

"Hey! Don't even go there!" Toombs squealed from the other side of the room, effectively severing a portion of the tension.

"You know, for a marine, you sure do whine a lot." She winked at him over her shoulder, she would have smiled when he shook his head, but she lacked the energy.  

Shepard tried to sit up, despite Donovan's rising protest.  

It was obvious (to her) what needed to be done and being fussed over, had little point. She winced loudly and grasped at her upper-arm with her good hand. He tried to lay her back down, but her hand shot up and planted itself firmly against his chest in an act to stop him.  

"Sir, I need you to pop my shoulder back in," She stated bluntly "and I'd rather not do that laying down." The simple act of sitting up, all but wiped the air from her lungs and the only thing Donovan could do was sigh (in what she assumed was resignation) as she tilted her head to look him in the eye.  

Everyone knew better than to argue with her when she was in pain, Donovan more than most, but only him and Toombs had the guts to actually do it. He rolled his eyes as she chuckled softly. His omnitool flitted to life on his forearm and he scanned the aching woman. 

"Just peachy, eh?" Donovan said with a quirked brow as he leaned on his knee and gestured towards the armour on her lower leg. He scanned her once more and his shoulders dropped, mild satisfaction washing over him.   
She took it as a good sign. 

"You know me sir, queen of understatement and all things insubordinate." She moved her able hand and took a medigel pen from her hip and stuck it in her shoulder. For a few moments, she let the serum seep through her muscles and try to soothe her aches and pains. Shepard knew it wouldn't last long, but it'd be enough for now. She breathed deeply and every muscle relaxed. 

"You ready?" the Commander asked, his eyes on hers. 

The pain hadn't subsided by much, but she wouldn't tell him that. They needed to keep moving. 

"Do it." 

He moved into place and with one swift movement, he shoved her shoulder back into the joint. She hissed and groaned in pain. For a moment the room seemed to spin, making her headache and stomach twinge, but she _shrugged it off_.  

 _'Now that I'm able to'_ she mused with an unvoiced laugh. 

"That...is not fun." She smiled breathlessly, lifting a hand to her throbbing shoulder. Using both arms, she rose to her feet, instantly regretting the pressure on her not-yet-healed injuries. She stood on her own for a few moments, but as soon as she tried to support herself, she fell to the floor with a clumsy _oomph_.  Her sight filled with dots of light and she knew she wouldn't be walking anywhere anytime soon, especially as the gash in her armour started to stain red with blood. "Crap..."   
  
Donovan gestured for Vale and the others to come closer.  

"We need to get her to the surface, her leg can't be treated down here," Toombs stated, his eyes gleaming with concern as he looked down at his best friend.  

Shepard's head snapped to the side and before she could stop herself, she interrupted. 

"Hell no! Delta are still in here somewhere, leave me here if you have to, but _they're_ the priority." She almost sounded as though she was in disbelief. Shepard was flattered that he wanted to get her out first, but she also wanted to slap him for it. Even Donovan knew the mission had to come first, it was a quality she admired about him, even amongst the muddiness of their personal lives, they could be professional.  

"But Shep-" 

"But _nothing_ Corporal." She quirked a brow beneath her helmet. "I've only hurt my leg, I'll live... _they_ may not have that luxury." She sighed and subtly turned her attention to Donovan, she could see the concern in his eyes, even though he tried to hide it. She lowered her voice. "I know you're worried, but we can't leave them, _they_ are the priority."

She could see him work it over in his head and both men seemed to contemplate it. 

"Toombs has a point," Donovan added with a shrug and a tilt of his head " _but_...so does Shepard, we have a mission, we have to complete it." 

She sighed with relief and looked up at the two men in satisfaction. An unspoken order passed between Toombs and Donovan.

"Exactl-" she started, until she was enveloped in warmth and a strong grasp lifted her off of the ground. He cradled her in his arms, supporting her back and legs. She looked at him in curiosity and mild irritation. "Toombs? What are you doing?" Her eyes narrowed.

_'The one time they decide to get along...He's an idiot...they're both idiots...'_

The young Corporal shrugged with a smirk and held her close, much to her protest...though she couldn't really _do_ anything about it.

"We have a mission to complete, as the strongest biotic...I need my hands free, but we're not leaving you here, Shepard." Donovan's face was stern, aside from a raised brow and a slightly quirked lip.  

"I-" 

"Is it going to be a problem, _Lieutenant_?"  

"I-...no _sir_." She rolled her eyes, trying to suppress the involuntary urge to smile.  

 _'Stubborn...unprofessional...ass...'_  

"Good." He nodded quickly and called Sascha to inject her leg with another dose of medigel, a second attempt at dulling some of the pain. She relaxed from the waist down and finally it was a little bit easier to think. "Get your map ready Lieutenant, we've got work to do." 

She sighed deeply. 

"Aye sir." 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for giving this chapter a read!!
> 
> SHIT'S ABOUT TO GET REEEEAL XD (I hope....maybe haha)


	5. Lost

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OHMYGODTHISTOOKTOOLONG XD my hours went up in work and it has not only messed with my update schedule...but also my mental capacity XD
> 
> On the plus side....here it is!  
> On the down side....I still need to edit it, but it's okay for now haha XD 
> 
> I apologize in advance XD
> 
> Any feedback is welcome, but please bear in mind that I AM editing haha XD
> 
> Enjoy!!

Their advancement further into the tunnels remained almost absent of light, the imposing tenebrosity doing little to soothe Shepard's nerves. She considered them all fortunate whenever they should come across the occasional stray service lamp, making her thankful for the streaks of dulled bronze shining across their paths. The passages, while few, twisted and joined in a labyrinth of almost identical corridors and small spaces.       
  
Shepard could see the conflicting expressions painted on her teammates faces as she peeked over Toombs' shoulder, preferring to look from the corner of her eye. There had been a moment of ease when they left the small platform, each of them laughing in the sudden loss of tension, but with every step deeper, that tension seemed to seep back in. The gnawing in her own stomach returned with a vengeance, no longer a throbbing headache and more of a migraine. If they asked why, she wouldn't really be able to explain it. Was it her gut? _Instinct_? Or sheer misplaced paranoia? She couldn't quite tell.    

Shepard's gaze flicked to her legs, her wound no longer felt like it was pulsating, instead the flashes of pain had faded and she would have sworn the pressure had all but gone. She prayed to God that it mean the medigel was working, because if it didn't then it...well, she was _determined_ it was the medigel.     
     
Shepard _hated_ being carried, she preferred to be moving on her own two feet, weapon in hand and being...useful. She groaned internally at the thought of being stuck in her current state. Broken. _Fragile_. She was a 'softie' at times, but she'd be damned if she was _fragile_.  

 _'Calm down, you're no good to anyone if you're going_ _batshit_ _...'_   

It wasn't until she slipped back out of her thoughts, that she realized Toombs was looking at her. His eyes swam with conflicting concern and curiosity.   

"Can I help you with something, Corporal?" She asked, her brow quirked behind the wall of her mask.  

"Was just going to ask if you were doing okay." He smiled with feigned innocence, as though he was pretending she hadn't just caught him staring at her. The young man was betrayed by the worry in his own eyes, the tightening of his grip.    
   
Shepard had days when she'd completely forget he was younger than her, but then there were days when it was as blatant and obvious  as the blood in her veins. She refocused on his question, briefly dabbling in thought as she tried to summarize how she was feeling.  

 _'I'm alive, that's good enough for me...'_  

"All things considered, I'm alright," she stated softly, her gentle eyes hidden by the glare of Vale's torch on her visor. "bloody hell that's bright, mind diverting that please?" She winced as she lifted a hand to cover her eyes.     
   
The young woman smiled apologetically. 

"Sorry ma'am," she cooed nervously.   
   
Shepard felt sorry for her and decided to try and ease the rising tension.   
   
"It's alright Vale, too bloody dark down here, and don't call me _ma'am_ , I'm wounded, not old." She winked once the light had dimmed and she could see again, though to call it _seeing_ was an overstatement of massive proportions.   

Donovan chuckled warmly from slightly ahead. The corner of his lip began to quirk and she shot him her tell-tale look that spoke the words _'I know what you're going to say, so don't'_. Her own lips threatened to tug into a smile, she tried to will it away, but the urge was almost overwhelming.  

Shepard assumed Toombs had noticed the unvoiced exchange, because before he could stop himself, four words passed his lips in a mutter.  

"Ugh, get a room." The awkwardness that filled the passage was instant, as Shepard tensed in Toombs' arms, all humour gone from her eyes. Though it wasn't for the reason most would have suspected.  

"Put me down," she stated bluntly, her mind flitting from thought to thought as she tried to discern what she was experiencing. Truth be told, whatever Toombs had said, took the backseat as soon as she picked up on the peculiar smell that wafted its way through the air.   

Acrid. Burnt. _Foul_. They were the only words she could use to describe it. The scent was subtle enough that her squad hadn't picked up on it, but with the enhancements in her helmet, she could find what others couldn't. It was like distantly burning flesh, blended with dirt and decay, she had no idea how it'd be possible, but it was.   

"Ignore him Shep, he's just being an ass-" Donovan trailed off as he looked over his shoulder, his eyes shifting from soft to focused as they met hers, he saw her own bounce in the way they did when she was assessing a situation.   

She knew it'd make him nervous.   

They didn't voice the things they noticed about each other (when on-duty at least), hell they weren't _allowed_ to, but Shepard was always thankful he knew her as well as he did. It tended to make things a little easier, though it also had the potential to be _very_ bad.     
   
Toombs lowered her, instead resorting to snaking an arm under her armpit and across her back. She appreciated the gesture, even more so as she tried to take her first step. Her leg almost buckled, but she fought to stay standing, her gnawing curiosity surpassing her body's reluctance to move. She tested the ground beneath her feet, the dirt churning and metal creaking as she began to edge her way forward.   

Toombs released his grip slightly, uncomfortable with letting her walk unaided. Donovan instinctively moved closer.  

She sighed in relief as her leg stabilized and she was able to draw her weapon,    
there was still an uncertainty, a lack of assurance that she wouldn't fall flat on her face, but she pressed on.   

 _'Come on, one step at a time.'_ She urged herself, fighting against what she claimed was the pull of gravity, though it was more stubbornness on behalf of her limbs. Donovan's eyes lingered on her, concern flitting across his features. She jutted her head gently, signalling for him to keep going.  

Shepard shuffled forward, using the light of her torch to guide her slightly hindered steps.   

"Follow me," she stated, her voice breaking ever-so-slightly, her internal barriers wavering as doubt and worry crept over her.   

The further up the passage they moved, the stronger the smell became. Dirt, _heat_ , it was bizarre, she could smell the warmth, the burning of metal and flesh. The rock and dirt seemed to ache, the way ahead paved with something that felt almost sinister. She couldn't figure out what it could be, until it sunk in...  

 _'No_ _no_ _no_ _!_ _Please no!'_   

She picked up her paced, hobbling as fast as she could through the dark. Donovan and Toombs kept close, both men ready and willing to catch her should she fall. Shepard couldn't help but be grateful, but consumed by worry, she pushed the gratitude aside and kept moving towards the opening ahead.  It wasn't much further, but each step was agony, though she refused to show it. She used the wall as her ally, her free hand pushing against it, making the most of the uneven surface while her other hand grasped her weapon. For a fleeting moment, she fell into a world of focus, blocking out all else, aside from the unmistakable rush of adrenaline that fought its way through her veins.   

If anyone called to her, it fell on deaf ears. The adrenaline surged, flooding her aching form, striking her muscles with continuous bursts of unrelenting energy.   

She ran. Ignoring the pull of flesh and muscle, the tear of her unhealed wound, she ran.    
   
Donovan called after her, begging her to be careful, though his subtle plea soon turned into firm words and a not-so-subtle concern.   

"Shepard!" He bellowed, ignoring the previous notion to be quiet.   

The opening drew into sight, the unwelcome smell growing thicker, making the air feel heavy and stale. Her heart hammered in her ears, filling her head with rapid drumming as she approached the end of the passage.  

 _'Delta...oh God please don't let me be right...'_   

She slid to a halt as the path suddenly stopped, rock and metal opening into...ruins. The pungent odour churned her stomach and stung her eyes to the point of tears. 

Broken. Crushed. _Red_. 

"Oh fuck." She gasped and instantly lifted her hand to shield her nose, though all her hand met was metal. Shepard slouched against the wall and slid to the floor, her armour grating against the rock with a dull scrape.  

The others appeared quickly, all of them retching as the smell hit their senses full force.  

"We were too late..." She muttered with a shake of her head.  

 _'They should have left me behind...they would have moved faster...maybe they could have...'_  

Guilt. That's what she felt. It pulled at every fibre, every ounce of her. Her chest felt tight and it became harder to breathe. She bit back the bitter sting of tears as Donovan knelt and placed a hand on her shoulder, rousing her from her thoughts and unravelling guilt. His brow furrowed as he looked into her eyes. 

"Don't...I know what you're thinking...and don't." His own features were tainted with sadness and pain as he tried to focus. He could tell, he always could, she didn't know whether to hate it or love it.   
   
She nodded softly, her rising tears of pain shifting to anger, determination. 

They needed to figure out their next move. 

"We need to find out what the fuck happened, sir," she stated, meeting Donovan's gaze. She knew he understood and she wasn't prepared to give up on the hunch she had, the gut feeling that wore at her, now more than ever.  

As carefully as he could manage, Donovan pulled her to her feet, taking heed to make sure she was steady before releasing his grip on her forearm. Everyone followed what remained of the path. The metal grate walk-way that connected different parts of the main platform lay spread over rock and slab, but various sections had crumbled all the same. A single console lay intact against the wall and they all silently prayed it was operational. The squad needed to contact the surface, to let Laska and the others know what had happened, but for now that seemed to fall to the back of their minds.   
   
As they pressed forward, watching every step, searching every stable path, it all seemed rather cut-and-dry, there had been a collapse during the latest tremor and the cavern had destabilized...they hoped.  

It was a strange hope to have. The hope that a collapse was all it had been. The hope that her gut was wrong and there wasn't more going on. Shepard _prayed_ that she was wrong, that she was just being paranoid and over-analysing, that it was all a figment of her imagination. But as her omnitool flickered to life on her forearm and she scanned the... _remains_...of Delta, all of that salvaged hoped, vanished. She hopped down off of the walkway, instantly regretting it as her leg screamed in partial protest.

_ 'Fuck...very smart...'  _ She groaned and leaned against a nearby boulder, waiting for the pain to fade. Once it was gone, she hobbled forward, limping through the rubble. Wit h her omnitool risen, she edged her way closer to one of the bodies. It lay under rock and dust, half-concealed, half... _gone_ .  

   
A viscous and thick liquid, pale green and dark red in colour, _oozed_ from beneath the fallen rock, in place of where his legs had once been. She felt the bile rise in her throat, bitter and sour, but she pushed past the nausea and tried to harden her heart.  She had to focus...she _couldn't_ let it affect her...but it was never easy losing people, no matter who they were or how close. Shepard sighed deeply, wanting to block it out, infuriated in knowing she couldn't.    
   
With haste, she waved her arm over the remains of the person she barely recognized as Leo Sanchez. The orange interface blared and flashed, identifying one of the unusual materials.  

 _'Shit, t_ _he acid?...that's what the burning was...'_  

"Sir!" She called to Donovan, he trotted over quickly and carefully, the metal grate groaning beneath his feet. He came to an abrupt stop at her side, his chest rising and falling with heavy breaths, the lessened oxygen doing none of the soldiers any favours. 

"What is it?" He asked, his eyes flitting from her to her open omnitool. 

"When we were coming through the passage, I could smell a strange _burning_ , it's acid...the same acid that we found in the blood topside." She frowned as a graph and diagram appeared in front of her.    
   
"Acid? That's odd, could there have been a chemical spill? What exactly where the colonists planning on mining down here?" 

"Still no idea, but that's not the strangest part... " she trailed off, enlarging the graph as she went "when I scanned it, the acid read as containing extremely high concentrations of potassium chloride, sodium chloride, and hydrochloric acid...it has the base elements of gastric acid, but it's stronger than anything I've ever seen, there's chemicals in here I've never even heard of." She added with an ounce of urgency, her gut feeling had returned and it was _not_ getting smaller. 

"Try to see wha-" Donovan started, before being cut off by Eli's bellowing voice. 

"Someone's still alive over here!" He shouted, his voice toned with worry "she's hurt though! Badly!"   
   
Before giving it a second thought, she vaulted a bulky shard of clay-red rock and ran along the platform, bouncing between the parts that were broken and those that were _reasonably_ stable. She ducked under a collapsed strut and dropped into place beside her teammates. As soon as she stopped, her entire body cried out in agony. She kept pushing herself too much...

_'Dammit woman!'_

Vale had her hand placed gently on the survivor's arm, her voice carrying softly as she tried to get her attention. The name _Stephens_ printed plainly across the wide-eyed woman's breastplate. 

"Becca, it's Izzy Vale, can you hear me?" Vale asked, every word trembling as they passed through her lips.  

Shepard assumed they must have been close, as Vale's eyes glazed with tears when her friend didn't immediately answer. 

"Stephens, my name is Lieutenant Tessa Shepard, can you hear us?" She asked, hoping for some sort of reaction. 

The woman's face contorted in the faded shadow, her features pulled tightly as she whimpered and winced. She writhed and Donovan barked for them to hold her still. She'd only hurt herself further. Eli and Vale took careful hold, the light of Sashca's torch flitted across her face, highlighting every scar, cut and bruise in the pale white glow. Her now sallow complexion was tinted with blotches of purple and blue, sweat glistened on her skin, sticking her chestnut hair to her cheeks. Blood trickled with a steady flow from a large gash in her shoulder, her knee was flecked with drops of the viscous acid and Shepard's stomach started churning at the sight, yet Stephens seemed un-phased. At least until her body went rigid and she stared up at them with fearful eyes. 

"We didn't touch, but the laser lit and it came! What is it? So big...Never seen...How?!" She asked, pleading with the other squad for answers they didn't have. The desperation in her every word made Shepard's heart ache.    
   
_'What the hell happened down here?'_    
   
"It? What was _i_ _-_ " Shepard started, her voice cutting off as her whole body tensed.   
   
The ground began to tremble and a piercing shriek tore itself from Stephens' lips, the young woman thrashed and cried and every attempt to calm her seemed to be in vain. Tears streamed drown her cheeks, leaving pale streaks through the mud and the blood. Her voice quivered as she tried to speak, but every pained word was silenced by fear.  

Shepard turned her attention to Donovan, her voice shaking as she fought to stabilize herself against the wall with a splayed hand. The rock was rough beneath her fingers, pressing through the thick weave of her armoured gloves. 

"Another one?" She shouted, trying to speak over the deep rumble that filled her ears, making the air itself feel thick and heavy. The mild tremor made her bones quake, the medigel waver and the dull, aching pain return. She sunk to the floor, her brow knitted tightly as the pain began to pull at every muscle in her calf and as the gash on her shin started to tear. Yet she fought to push it aside.  

The walls seemed to shift, throbbing and fighting against the strain. Then, as quickly as it started, it stopped. The thundering roar became a gentle growl until it simply _ceased_.  

She let out a deep sigh and slumped against the wall. Her gaze turned to her squad, all of them catching their breath, making her realize she'd been holding her own.  

"Damn, I hate those things!" Sascha snarled, contrasted by the slight chuckle that seemed to linger behind his words.  

"Hmph, don't we all," Donovan stated, his voice void of all humour as he glanced to Stephens. Her head hung limply, matted brown hair framed her paled face and her dilated eyes stared at the ground between her legs.  

Donovan sighed deeply and reached out, lifted her head and with whatever respect he could muster, he closed her eyes. Shepard's heart swelled at the gesture, she knew how deeply he hated losing people and the desire to hug him was almost overpowering, _almost_.    
   
"Sascha, see if that console is even a small bit salvageable, we need to get word to the others, _hopefully,_ someone will answer," Donovan ordered.   
   
The Chief saluted briefly.   
   
"Aye sir!" He turned on his heel and trotted off gladly, jumping and sliding over any debris and humming quietly to himself.    
   
It should have been her. Donovan knew that, _she_ knew that, but as she sunk further down the wall and glanced at her leg, she knew she'd be lucky to walk properly in the next few hours, let alone the next five minutes.  

 _'Here's hoping...'_ She told herself with an ounce of optimism.    
   
Seconds seeped into minutes, and the minutes were excruciatingly long. She wasn't sure how much time passed, her attempts at opening her omnitool to check, were only followed by blinding orange light and excessive squinting, even through her visor. Every sense was heightened in response to the overwhelming pull of everything around her. Even as she sat still, she could feel the soft, lingering tremble of the ground beneath her, she could hear the heavy breaths of her squad and she could taste blood lingering on her tongue.   
   
Sashca grunted across the room, snapping her from her trail of thought.   
   
"The console is completely shot, but I managed to recover the last out going message," He sighed as he rose to his feet, his omnitool glowing brightly on his forearm.   
   
"Can it play? It might give us some idea what happened down here," Shepard added, while trying to get back on her feet, but her legs were refusing to work.    
   
"Yes ma'am, just give me a moment," he answered before turning back to his omnitool, his armoured fingers tapping away at the holographic interface.   
   
Donovan jumped up from where he was crouched and offered her a hand. His fingers wrapped firmly around her slender wrist and he pulled her to her feet, taking care to brace himself should she lose her balance.    
   
She smiled softly, glad for the closed nature of her helmet, that allowed her to do it freely. Her knee buckled as soon as she put pressure on her leg and she fell forward, grateful for the solid presence of Donovan in front of her.    
   
His hands gripped her waist and arm, steadying her before she stumbled any further.    
   
"You okay Shepard?" He asked as she straightened and tested her weight.   
   
"Yeah, I so." She winced quietly, but her eyes softened as she looked up at Donovan, his brow knitted in mild concern. "Thanks sir."    
   
His face seemed to relax at her confirmation and following gratitude, his lips softening into a small smile. Donovan released his grip and shot her an out-of-sight, lopsided smile. Her heart warmed for a brief instant, before the moment was severed by Sascha's urgent call from across the room.  
   
"It's ready!"    
   
"Alright, let's hear it," Donovan sighed, turning his attention to the other officer.    
   
The Chief's fingers moved quickly and within seconds the recording started to play. 

" _Delta reporting in, we've located the primary platform, no sign of any colonists as of yet, but we'll keep looking._ " The voice crackled, Shepard recognised it as being Stephens' and her heart sunk. " _Slight_ _seismic_ _activity, but structure is holding, we'll proceed_ _and_ _keep an eye out, we'll-…"_ the audio became fractured, littered with static, a deep rumble lingering in the background. " _T_ _he mining laser? Well turn it off..._ _"_ A loud crash obscured her voice, a banshee-like screech adding to the chaos. " _What the hell_ _wa_ _-_ _..._ _Sanchez!_ _Get_ _away from-…-the hell is-...fuck! Run!_ _G_ _-..._ _out of he-…"_ _._ The recording came to a sudden end and the room was left in an uncomfortable silence.    
   
The marines shifted awkwardly where they stood and sat, each as confused and afraid as the other.  

Shepard's gaze flitted to the woman laying at her feet and her heart went out to her, she'd sounded so determined, but Shepard felt the fear that had earlier filled the room. It still radiated from every bone and shattered pillar.   
   
"We need to leave...tell the others what happened," Toombs stated, breaking the silence and earning him a nod of agreement from Shepard.  

"Aye, but..." Shepard trailed off, her voice laced with uncertainty.   
   
"But?" Donovan cocked a brow and tilted his head as he regarded her and the confliction she knew was etched on her face.  

"But...there was something else on that recording, yeah it was pretty damn chaotic, but we all heard it...there's something here, or there _was_." She rolled her shoulders with a groan and a sigh, before turning her attention to Donovan. "It might be worth looking in to at least." She shrugged and habitually rubbed the back of her neck. There was something about that noise that chilled her to the bone, it spelled trouble and yet part of her still wanted to know more.    
   
"Good point," Donovan answered as he straightened his stance. "Alright, scan the area, let's see what else we can find, so far all we've got is a practically incoherent recording and weird acid, let's look for something more solid." He started to make his way towards the centre of the room, lifting grates with muscle and biotics alike. "I'll try and get word to Laska and the others."    
   
In the corner of her eye, Shepard saw Eli wrap an arm around Vale's shoulders, the words _'I'm so sorry'_ passing through his lips in what he must have assumed was a whisper. Vale smiled softly and nodded, briefly resting her head on his shoulder.  

Shepard's mood lifted slightly, the exchange between the two marines was one that she could relate to and at that thought, she looked back at Donovan, taking care to be discreet.    
   
Shadow flickered across their faces, the same image appearing as it had so many times before, gaunt and hollow. She wanted to ignore it, but it was a feeling she still couldn't shake.  

Eli and Vale separated, though she noticed the reluctance and couldn't help wonder if there was more between them. The young man wandered towards the edge of the platform, balancing on the smooth, metal surface of a grate.  

"It's bloody deep mind, isn't it?" He whistled as he crouched, his fingers wrapping firmly around a small stone. He stretched his arm out over the void below and let the stone go, within mere seconds it was disappearing into the darkness.   
   
"Eli! Get away from there!" Donovan barked.  

Shepard's head snapped to the Lieutenant, her face falling as his words aligned with those she had committed to memory mere minutes ago.  

 _'Could it be...?'_  

"Aye-aye sir," Eli started, turning on his heel to return to the others, his footing slipped from beneath him, but he regained it quickly, a rock skittered across the rough ground as he moved, casting itself over the edge. "Oh shit," he winced, quickly glancing back and below, into the darkness.    
   
Shepard sighed in relief, Donovan ran a hand over his jaw and Eli's chest heaved with slowing breaths.    
   
"Well, that was close," Eli chuckled and rested his hands on his knees, his heart seemingly pounding in his chest.    
   
Vale shook her head with a small smile and went to offer him a helping hand. As he reached out to accept, the ground gave way.  

Eli yelped loudly, the floor slipping from beneath his feet, metal grate sliding across the unstable earth.  

Again Shepard found herself running, ignoring the near-crippling pain in her leg as she bounded towards the falling man. She slid across the rough surface of the platform floor, her hand outstretched to reach his, her armour scrapping loudly on the rock.   
   
"Shepard!" Donovan practically screamed.    
   
Eli scrambled, his boots pounding on the shifting rock as he tried to climb to his feet. But it was in vain. As Shepard slid closer, he slid further away until she reached the end of the platform, using a nearby boulder to anchor herself. Her shoulder throbbed and she bit down on her lip, to silence her strangle gasp.    
   
Their fingers were inches apart, but it might as well have been a mile...His voice filled the silence as he cried out in fear.    
   
Everything fell into slow motion.   
   
Her eyes widened, tears threatening as he fell, his own tears streamed down his cheeks, his hand no longer reaching out to hers, all hope fading from his face as the darkness swallowed him whole.  

"No!" Vale screamed, the pain in her voice like a knife to Shepard's heart.  

 _'No...no...no_ _no_ _no_ _no...'_    
   
"Fuck!" Shepard shouted, anger seeping into every fibre of her body. Her voice bounced off of the walls, echoing in the dim light, mirroring her rage. Shepard's awareness shifted to those around her, Vale sobbed loudly and Toombs had an arm across her chest, holding her back as she tried to scramble to where her _friend_ had just stood.  

The sound of Shepard's heartbeat hammered in her ears, pounding against the fragile confines of her chest.    
   
A strong arm wrapped around her, pulling her up onto her aching feet. His free arm joined the other when her knees began to buckle under their own weight and she knew she'd pushed it too far.    
   
Her chest felt heavy, every breath laboured and dry, her voice catching on the lump in her throat. The look on Eli's face...God, the look on his face when she reached out to him and it just wasn't enough, the fear in his eyes when he realized that she _couldn't_ help him. He died because she wasn't fast enough... 

 _'No. It's not your fault, he was a soldier, he knew the risks...'_ She rationalized, but no matter how much she tried to...it didn't make it any easier. ' _H_ _e didn't have to die...'_  

She'd lost people before, it was the hazard of any command...but she'd never been forced to watch...she'd never had to stare wide-eyed as the last ounce of hope left them.  

Shepard glanced up to see Donovan looking down at her, she couldn't bring herself to look him in the eye. 

"Come on," he spoke softly, his voice was calming, soothing almost, but she felt the pain behind his words.  

She looked into his eyes and saw the unshed tears that lingered there, he wouldn't cry, but she knew his heart shattered every time he lost someone he cared for, every time someone under his command succumbed to the fate awaiting most soldiers. It was a danger they all faced and they were _all_ aware of it, but they chose to step out into its path anyway. 

 _'That's what makes them all so damn special...'_ Shepard trailed off in thought as she looked around at her comrades, each of them holding back their tears, each of them fighting to stay in control. 

"Aye sir," she sighed, turning her attention back to Donovan, snapping herself out of her grief. 

Toombs, Vale and Sascha made their way over, all of them sullen and gaunt, sorrow and determination pulling at their features.  

She noticed an exchange between Donovan and Toombs, the two men nodding and muttering in agreement, before Toombs sauntered towards her, a saddened smile on his lips. He linked an arm under hers and steadied her against his side, he was solid and sturdy, his grip on her tightening whenever she started to slip from his hold. An unspoken order passed between them all, they would get back to the surface and decide what to do next from there... 

"We'll come back for the bodies," Donovan stated, his brow knitted in concern. 

 _'Would we be able to come back?'_  

There was no telling whether or not the mine would withstand another tremor, the main platform and chamber were barely holding together as it was.  

She looked around at the scene they were leaving. So much death... 

 _'And for what?'_ She frowned. Her fist clenched until her knuckles turned white and she could feel her nails strain against her gloves. It took all of her strength to try and hold it together, to try and stop the tears that lingered and stung at her eyes.    
   
They started moving towards the doorway, all of them shaken...but motivated. Every step resounded with a metallic _thud,_ every breath and huff echoed in the empty room, until there was...nothing. Sascha stopped where he stood, his hand raised as he ordered them to stay where they were.    
   
"Do you hear that?" He asked, his eyes darted around the room, narrowed and focused as he tried to find whatever it was he heard a few moments ago. "There!" He exclaimed, Donovan stood next to him, lifted his omnitool and scanned the room. "Don't you hear that?" Sascha asked again, his face contorted as he strained to hear it. 

Shepard listened carefully, searching the silence.   
   
There was something there...lingering, distant, but it was there. So quiet she almost couldn't hear it.   
   
"It's coming from down there," Vale muttered, as she pointed towards the drop, her gaze briefly flitting to Shepard and Toombs.    
   
Before any of them could listen further, the ground began to violently shake. Light flickered. Rocks and metal slabs began to shift and roll.    
   
"Get out! Now!" Donovan shouted, his voice fighting to be heard over the sudden, thundering roar of the earthquake. He quickly turned his attention to Vale. "We need a biotic sphere! Help me!" The urgency in his eyes would have been enough to compel anyone, even more so when combined with the way the ground slid beneath their feet. His armoured glowed blue, his biotics quickly rippling to life. Vale was close behind.  

They all moved without hesitation, throwing themselves into the narrow confines of the nearest passage. Donovan and Vale lit the way, their barrier glowing brightly, protecting them, guiding them. Toombs lifted Shepard into his arms, her urge to protest disappearing almost instantly. 

She groaned loudly as he ran, her leg bouncing on his forearm, her head pounding with every step. Shepard wasn't sure how much time passed. The ground continued to tremble, shake, convulse almost. The squad would stumble, fall, but they'd get back up just as quickly and keep moving. Shepard's map guided them, and any obstructions were disposed of by Adam and Sacha, with a quick cryoblast and shotgun round. They continued to ascend, the strain of the run doing little to help as the path wound and rose.  
   
The noise...God...the noise. It was like thunder, hammering against her skull, making her head throb and her eyes ache.   
   
Light.   
   
_'Light!'_  Her eyes widened.  _'It must be morning already...'_  
   
There was light ahead.    
   
_That_ was their way out. 

But when there was light, there will always be darkness...and it was gaining on them quickly. She cast a glance behind, only to see the shadow creeping over the rock, slithering its way closer, no matter how fast they ran. Before she could blink, they were swallowed by it, shrouded in it, but still they kept moving. There was no way in hell that they would stop. 


	6. Run

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the moments of respite after the events in the depths of the mine, Shepard and the others start to learn just what HAS been going on...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH.MY.GOD  
> I've never been so eager to finish a chapter, there's only one or two more to go...but this one was nearly the death of me XD It's a tad rough, there are some bouncy tenses and a few spelling mistakes, but they'll be sorted once I've recovered from my self-imposed fatigue XD
> 
> I hope you enjoy! And, as always, feel free to leave some feedback :) (con-crit welcome, just don't be a dick) XD

Pain.    
   
That's all there was.  

 It nagged, ached, _pulled_...at every fibre of her body.   

Dust filled the air, swarming, billowing in a thick cloud that tried to force its way into her lungs. She gasped. Her chest heaved as she fought to get back up. She _had_ to get back up.  

She pushed against the ground and her fingers churned the dirt beneath her. Every subtle movement wracked her body with pain and made it harder to remember the last few minutes. Voices had bellowed and the rumble of rock had thundered...but it was all nought more than a blur, a strange afterthought that lingered in the back of her mind as she gasped for breath.  

 _‘We were running...and then...’_    
   
"Vale! Sascha!" She coughed, her voice strained in her throat. Gravelly. Coarse. "Donovan! Toombs?" She called out in the silence, her words joined only by the distant rumble of earth and rock as the ground settled. Warmth seemed to seep down the side of her face, but she pushed it aside.     
   
Shepard coughed and sputtered as dust clogged her helmet's filter, her every  breath became harder and shallower, her obscured vision dimmed further. Her ribs ached, the air had been knocked from her lungs and she felt as though she'd been punched in the chest. With a final push she climbed to her knees, instantly regretting it as pain shot through her already bleeding leg. She tried to throw the pain aside, to force determination to the surface. But everyone had their limits.  

"Shit!" She shouted as her leg buckled and sent her crashing to the ground with a painful thud.   

It had been years since she'd felt this sort of pain, but this time there was no fear...and she was lucky enough to have a medi-pen clasped to her hip.   

 _‘I can stop the infection at least...’_   

She plucked the pen from her hip and readied it above the cracks and splinters in her armour.  Her heart hammered in her fragile chest and she sucked in a sharp breath before plunging the metallic pen into the exposed patches of  her calf and shin. It seeped through her skin and attached itself to her wound. A few seconds passed and she began to  writhe on the floor, fighting to get back on her feet...but every move was still met with searing protest.  

 _'Fucking work!'_ She begged as she rolled onto her front. Shepard had never felt so drained, all of her energy had faded.     
   
"Shepard!" A near-by voice called, cutting through the silence.   

 _'Adam!'_   

The approaching silhouette fought it's way through the cloud of dust and dirt.     
   
He dropped beside her, dark blonde hair obscuring blue eyes. His hands moved to roll her onto her back, his eyes searching hers.  

"Are you okay? Are you hurt?" He asked, worry etched on his face. His concern was grounding and oddly made her feel a strange surge of calm.   

"I'm fine, I've used all of my medigel though," she answered and breathed as deeply as she could, before she looked up at him through her visor.   

"You've applied another dose?"     
   
"Yeah, thing was hurting...like a bitch," she groaned, feeling out of breath. "My filter...is shot, need to get...helmet off," she added, tapping the front of her helmet.  

Adam released a biotic flare and the cloud started to dissipate. A soon as it was clear enough, he helped her pry off her helmet. 

The sensation was a mix of painful and sheer bliss. She gasped sharply as breath filled her lungs, it stung at first, but she relaxed when life and energy seeped back in to every cell. The air was a welcome caress against her skin, the cool breeze nipped at her sensitive flesh and she could have fallen asleep there and then. 

 _'Not a good idea...'_ She told herself...and she was right, blood loss and lack of oxygen combined to make a deadly threat, at least she had medigel pumping around her system. A small ounce of assurance.  

Donovan's gaze shot to her forehead and he frowned.    
   
"What is it?" She asked, only then did she notice the smear of red that tinted the corner of her vision.    
   
_'Head wound?'_    
   
He reached into his pack and pulled out both a medigel pen and a strip of a bandage. The look in his eyes told her to stay still, so she did, obediently and with mild impatience. The sudden rush of the medigel as he injected it into her neck, sent a wave of warmth coursing through her veins. He bound the bandage as carefully and securely as he could.    
   
He drew back and sighed, his hand met her cheek with a gentle touch that she had missed. The warmth of his skin radiated through his glove and calmed her with familiar ease. There was no one else around and she silently prayed in gratitude as he wiped away the tears that still lingered on her cheeks.    
   
She closed her eyes and leaned against his palm, her unspoken thanks to him. 

Then the thought struck her... 

"Where are the others?" She asked, her brow furrowed and Adam smirked softly.  

“They're okay, all things considered,” he sighed “Vale broke her arm, Sascha took a knock to the head and Toombs is...well, Toombs.” He smiled and she felt the worry start to wash away. “They're all back at the complex, briefing Laska and the others.” 

‘ _Okay, good...they're safe.’_ She sighed and tried to sit up, the pull in her muscles made her wince and she groaned in reluctant resignation.  

“A little help?" Shepard asked and lifted a hand. 

Donovan's fingers gripped her wrist and hers wrapped around his wrist. With a swift, yet careful, yank he pulled her onto her feet. His arm slid under both of hers with a single, fluidic motion. He held her firmly against his side and helped her walk along the unstable ground.  

It was _clunky_ at first, her weakened leg took its time to adjust to the weight and any sudden movements made her head spin.  

She fought against it for as long as she could, she tried to push back the pain that forced its way through her body, but found herself slowly crumbling.  

Shepard's leg gave way, making her fall against Donovan's side with a dull thud. She groaned and tried to stand, stubborn determination took root and refused to let her give in to it.    
   
Donovan lifted her slightly and hummed in thought.   
   
"Sorry to be that person, but you won't be going anywhere if you stay untreated, walking is...out of the question at this rate."   
   
He was right, she knew he was, but that didn't make it any easier to accept. She sagged in further resignation and let him scoop her up into his arms, they had to keep moving and she refused to hold anyone back. The sooner they were back at the compound, the sooner she could get proper treatment and be back on her feet.   
   
_'And not be a liability...'_  

She tried to distract herself from it, but the thought still lingered...she was weak, a hindrance, they would have moved quicker if they'd left her behind, they could have escaped the mine collapse...Eli could still be alive. The thought plagued her, it had burned it's place in her brain and was refusing to leave. She'd have to push past it...she had to, she needed to focus.    
   
_'Come on girl, keep it together...'_ Her inner voice became gentle. She could pretend to be an example of the perfect soldier, she could try to feign those qualities and keep her head held high...but she couldn't anymore, she was a twenty-three year old young woman, injured and way out of her depth. Yet _that_ couldn't matter.  

Donovan's grip on her ribs and legs tightened, his eyes had softened and, though he kept his gaze ahead, Shepard could see the kindness there.  

"It wasn't your fault, I know you think it was, but it's wasn't." He stated plainly, but she could hear the emotion in his words. "You take all of the responsibility upon yourself...and I hate to tell you this, but it's not your job to save everyone Tess." He took the liberty of their momentary solitude, to press a quick, gentle kiss to her hair. Immediately he straightened, but his lips lifted into a subtle, lop-sided smile.   
   
She smiled back, quickly and sadly.   
   
_'Unfortunately...that doesn't help...'_    
   
Shepard glanced over Donovan's shoulder, even against the fractured darkness of the fading night sky, the silhouette of the mountain seemed ominous. There was something about it that made her uneasy, shadow and star-light combined to create an oddly surreal atmosphere and part of her wondered if they'd had a luckier break than they thought... 

Voices ahead dragged her attention back to their destination. Slowly they grew clearer, urgency and relief evident in every word.   
   
"It's them!"  

 _Familiar_. She could see him, his smiled beamed brightly from his dirt-caked face, happiness as blatant as her own. _Toombs_.    
   
_'He's okay!'_  

He turned back to the building and shouted for help.    
   
"We need a medic!"   
   
Within mere moments Donovan and Shepard were met by more marines, all of them scrambling to help. She was lifted from his arms and the sudden feeling of loss surprised her, discomfort slowly started to slide back in. 

The marines walked back inside, weaving through the corridors until they settled in a lab and placed her on a table. They fussed over her, both swift and habitual. Shepard felt Donovan's gaze linger on her, assessing their attentiveness and know-how, his arms folded across his chest.  

"I'm fine, honestly, we have more pressing issues," she stated insistently.  

Toombs perched on a crate opposite her and his brow quirked, yet the rest of his face stayed dead-pan. She knew that look, it radiated with a feigned authority the made her roll her eyes and sigh.   
   
"My leg collided with rock at a high speed and I'm not even sure what I did to my head," she clarified, as soon as the medic's back was turned, she subtly poked her tongue at Toombs, who simply smirked and winked. There was a soft concern in his eyes that she found oddly...reassuring.  

Her gaze dropped to the people who tended to her wounds. _Richards. Bradley_. Their brows were furrowed and an omnitool lit their every move, they scanned and cleaned, before adding medigel and binding the wound. Where blood had oozed and stained her armour red, there was now nothing more than a dull ache, the sting and sharp pain all but gone. The same was done for her head, all dirt and blood wiped away and a fresh bandage wrapped in their place.  

Laska sauntered into the room, datapad in hand and her features etched with conflicting perplexity and relief.  

"Good to see the rest of you made it out," she sighed with a slight smile, but then her face fell, it was barely noticeable as she turned her gaze to Shepard and Vale. "I'm sorry about Eli..., we'll make sure he gets a proper send off."  

 _'How can you when there's no body?...'_  

Shepard and Vale, despite being slightly down-trodden, nodded in appreciation and acknowledgment, waring away at some of the tiredness in Laska's features. Everyone sat in silence, the quiet marred only by heavy, exhausted breaths and the grunts of those who tended to the wounded.  

There was _something_ in the air, Shepard could feel it. Granted it had all gone to hell, Delta had been wiped out, Eli was dead and both she and Vale were injured. Yet that wasn't it. Everyone looked tense, shadows on their skin, knotted brows and tired hands...as though they'd spent hours wracking their brains and over-exerting themselves...   
   
_'But why? What happened up here?'_  

"Ma'am, what's going on?" Shepard asked, unable to hide the urgent tone in her voice. Laska looked at her with mild confusion and Shepard realized her question was way too vague. "I mean, I assume you've all been debriefed on what happened down there, but...you all look as though you've been hit with a shit-tonne of bricks," she added bluntly, not thinking of formality.    
   
The older woman cast a subtle nod towards her own squad. One of the marines slinked over to the main table and brought up a hologram of...something she couldn't quite read.   
   
"We found this," Laska stated. "We're not entirely sure what it is, but it's sure as hell not Alliance."    
   
Donovan frown and moved to the console, his fingers making light work of the interface.   
   
"It'll take me a little while, but I should be able to trace and decode this," he confirmed, "Sascha, jump on that console, it'll be quicker if we both give it a shot."    
   
The Chief nodded and took up his position opposite. Laska moved out of the way and regarded the rest of the soldiers.   
   
"We did find something else," she added, her omnitool flickered to life on her forearm with a bright burst of orange. "We salvaged the footage from the security system, the colonists experienced tremors similar to the ones we have, by the look of things, they decided to try and get to the Makos in the adjoining garage." She selected the file. "This is what we found."    
   
Shepard wasn't expecting what she saw next...   
   
A faded, fractured image recording. The colonists running towards the garage, their muted screams evident on their faces as they sought an escape. They seemed terrified, fear etched on their slightly pixelated faces.  

"What...what are they running from?" Vale asked, worry evident in her voice. She shifted closer to the edge of her chair, her bottom lip pulled between her teeth. Shadow and pale light danced across her youthful features and added years. Her blue eyes fixed on the vid that played on loop, until Laska froze the image.   
   
"This." 

The ground rose and churned, concrete and metal cast aside like it meant nothing, as _it_ burst through. _It,_ a towering mass of mandibles and teeth. Shepard had never seen anything like it. Easily the height of the garage, it broke through the foundations like a snake through sand, long and lithe, it reared its _head_ and its mandibles flared, tentacles waving through the air.  

"What the _fuck_ is that thing?!" Toombs nearly growled, there was an anger in his eyes that caught her off-guard.    
   
" _It..._ Could it be what Stephens talked about?" Shepard asked, her brows knitted in irritation and contemplation.  

Laska nodded.   
   
"There's mo-" She started, her words severed by the sudden jolt that sent everything off-balance.  

The ground began to violently tremble, the foundations of the complex shaking beneath their feet.  

"Shit!" Shepard hissed as the  thrown from the table with a dull _thud_. Toombs scrambled to her side and pulled her to her feet, holding her tightly against his side. "Thanks," she groaned breathlessly.    
   
Donovan's gaze flicked to her for a moment, his concern radiating in noticeable waves, but it was yanked away when the back wall collapsed and he had to put up a shield.  

"Everyone out! Now!" Laska ordered, the harsh urgency of her voice cut into Shepard's chest like a knife. A ripple of blue light broke over her armour, like connecting bolts of lightning that made the air hum with the faint buzz of electricity.  

That's when the lights went out and everything fell into darkness. They scrambled for the nearest exit, heavy breaths and fearful whimpers echoed in the corridors, the way behind all but sealed, claustrophobia clawing its way in. Their steps would falter with every violent shake and Shepard found it hard to stay on her feet. She didn't have time to think about her injuries or the nagging pain that still wracked her body.   
  
Toombs and Donovan stayed close, snaking around the rubble and debris as the section's integrity began to fail. Alpha, Beta, Charlie and Echo ran as quickly as they could, every team working in unison to escape. But some weren't fast enough.  

A piercing shriek tore itself from a young woman's lips as a slab of concrete broke away from the wall. Gone. Blood and pulp oozed onto the floor, but no one stopped running.  

Stars. 

They'd made it outside. 

Everything dropped to a sudden stillness. The thunderous roar of the shifting ground, just...stopped.    
  
"What the fuck is going on?!" Toombs was breathless, his skin slick with sweat and his chest falling hard and heavy. He turned his gaze her way, his worry obvious.  
   
"I don't know," Shepard sighed. Her body throbbed, every muscle wrought with exertion, her leg on the verge of buckling...and as she looked around, with her hands on her knees, she saw the others were on the same page.   
   
_'Wait...'_ Her ears picked up the faintest of sounds, it was familiar, high and sent a shudder through her body that made her bones ache. Something in her gut told her to run, and it grew louder by the second, until finally...   
   
"Get to cover!" She screamed, but they didn't have time to run...


	7. The Hunt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> People were dying...and every time they thought they were safe, fate had other ideas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took me ages...and I had a serious blockage, so it's a bit rough...but I hope you like it!!
> 
> I welcome all feedback (except for blatant douchebaggery) XD
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

Shepard's breaths were hard, heavy and made her body tremble. Her leg throbbed, her ribs ached, exhaustion clinging to every fiber as she tried to run to cover. Her entire body protesting.  

No one got far. 

The ground violently shook, and a banshee-like screech erupted in the air, throwing them to their knees in crumpled, groaning heaps. People screamed, their agonized voices cutting through the air and blending in with the deafening chaos. Those who wore their helmets, with their comms active, were dead in moments...voices crying out in pain as they clawed at their helmets, blood smeared on their visors as their bodies went limp.    
   
Those who remained, threw their helmets aside, a wave of realization washing over them. _The comms amplify the sound._ No one understood how, but they didn't have time to process it.  

The ground erupted and darkness fell in mere moments. Dirt and debris flew through the air as a looming shadow eclipsed the moon. _It_ towered over them, bone and fleshy-plates covered its worm-like hide, mandibles chittered and scraped against one another, and the sound clawed its way through her ears and into her skin.    
   
Every muscle in her body went rigid and she made her first mistake...she froze.   
   
Long, barbed tentacles licked at the air, drawing it in as the _creature_ let out a piercing roar.    
The sound _tore_ through the air and burrowed itself in her mind, anchoring her to the ground in agony. She cried out, pain gripping her head like a vice and refusing to let go. Warmth trickled from her nose and left a metallic taste on her dried lips. She was bleeding? Shakily she lifted a gloved hand to her mouth, and her eyes met the crimson mark of blood.  

Shit.  

 _'Definitely bleeding.'_    
   
Something in her woke up and while she would usually wait for Laska or Donovan to bark their commands, no one was speaking a word.    
   
"In cover! Now!" She bellowed, hoping she was heard above the _god-awful_ sound.  

Toombs clung to her personal space for dear life, his eyes wide with fear. Donovan lingered near-by, his gaze flitting between every marine and she _knew_ he was figuring out how to get everyone out alive.  

Every single one of her senses seemed to pique, and she fought against the pain that resonated in her muscles, not eager to succumb to what could potentially kill her and those around her. She grabbed Toombs by the wrist and started pulling him back towards the collapsed structure. There had to be somewhere they could hide! There had to be! 

 Vale and Sacha hung close on their tail, with Donovan and Laska at the rear, the azure glow of their biotics flickering across their armour and skin.  

Her head screamed with the searing pain of the creature’s cry and tears streamed from her narrowed, focused eyes.  

The _thing_ loomed behind them, It's distinct sound shredding the air. It's whole body thrashed and coiled as bioluminescence spread across its leathery hide. Fast enough to catch them even more off-guard, it drew back its barbed tentacles and spat. The green, liquid splashed at a marine's feet and he cried out in agony as it burnt through his armour with ease. He fell to the floor with a dull, sickening thud and his pained stare locked on Shepard in the one moment she glanced over her shoulder, their eyes meeting as he died in open-mouthed horror.    
   
Her heart pounded in her chest. His lifeless, blue eyes paled and remained _fixed_ on her.    
   
Why?   
   
_Why was this happening?_    
   
_What is that thing?!_  

A tug on her arm dragged her back to the man who ran at her side. He didn't look her way, but she knew he was terrified, simply because she knew him well enough.  

The surviving marines dodged and evaded their way towards a part of the structure that seemed the most sound, the garage. Though there was something about it that told Shepard they shouldn't go inside. The large, bulk of a building hadn't been moved much by the tremors and it was a blessing, no matter how short lived it may eventually turn out to be. All of them dived inside and it was only then that they realized...there was only fifteen of them left.    
   
Laska stayed hunched in the doorway, eyeing the creature as it roared one final time, before disappearing back into the depths, as quickly as it came. She sunk against the wall, her biotics fading.   
   
"It's gone...for now," she breathed heavily "keep your guard up, weapons ready."   
   
"How-how did we lose so many?" Vale sobbed and loosened the clasps on her shoulder, the soft hiss displaced in the cacophony of lingering, painful noise. The creature was gone, but their ears still rung with the high-pitched screech.    
   
Donovan sighed deeply and ran a hand through his hair, his chest rose and fell with every strained, heavy breath. His gaze bounced rapidly through the surviving group and Shepard prayed he would find her eyes, knowing she couldn't call to him. And he did. His eyes met hers and the swell of relief there warmed her aching heart. She wanted to hold him, and to be held. She craved to be away from the god-forsaken place and back in the warmth of her apartment, curled up in Donovan's arms.  

But she wasn't home and _none_ of them were safe.   
   
"Tend to the wounded while we can," Donovan stated, not quite an order, but authoritative enough to be taken as one. "But stay on alert." 

He strode towards his team, every muscle rigid with tension.   
   
"You all alright?" He asked, directing it to everyone, though his gaze lingered on her.    
   
She nodded subtly, resisting the urge to grip her leg and check her head; there was no bleeding, that was good enough for her. As everyone else tended to any injuries and issues, she took the moment to scan the room. There was something she was forgetting, and she knew it. The thought nagged at the forefront of her mind.   
   
_'What was it? Something happened here...what was it?'_  

Small lights lay scattered throughout the large room, Makos were strewn as if thrown by a child and the floor of metal and tile had been churned like soil. Her gaze drifted to the large collapsed mound of dirt that seemed to blend in with the room.  

Then it clicked.   
   
"We need to move..." Toombs muttered as he dropped down beside her, with a furrowed brow, she knew exactly what he was referring to. His voice was coarse and rough, his eyes were puffy and red and everything about him radiated tension, though it wasn't a surprise. He'd lost friends, they all had.  

She glanced up at him. 

"I know, we can't stay here," Shepard stated, she knew all too well why they'd run there; Access to Makos, immediate cover...but they'd all forgotten what they'd seen minutes before. _It_ had been there, _it_ had slaughtered everyone...and none of them were even remotely safe.  

There was no evidence that the pioneer team had been there, no bodies, no remains, just destruction and stale air. 

Donovan strode towards Laska, his eyes narrowed. 

“Looks like the Commander has a plan,” Toombs added as he picked at the scope of his gun.  

Shepard nodded in agreement, but her gaze didn’t leave Donovan. She wanted to march over and be involved, she wanted to dive in and figure a way out, she wanted everyone to be safe.  Helpless. Useless. Scared. The three things she didn’t want to feel, the very things she swore she'd never be. The ground had started to tremble again, softly, a gentle vibration like distant drums being beaten miles below their feet.  

“Alright everyone!” Laska started, her voice breaking through Shepard’s line of thought. “This mission was supposed to be simple recon, but we've lost people…good people,” the Commander’s gaze lingered on Beta, then slowly swept across the room. “We're stuck between a rock and a bloody hard place, but we'll get through this. Moretz, Giha, Dallas! Check those Makos, if at least one is operational, we have a chance. The rest of you, check your ammo, check your amps, we're gonna need all the fire power we have.” 

 _She_ may have given the order, she may have spoken the words, but Beta looked to Donovan and waited for his sign to move.  

He nodded in affirmation, his eyes briefly closing as he did so. Everything about him was tense, rigid, the polar opposites of the man Shepard knew, of the man she...   
   
"This is gonna be interesting," Toombs muttered with a sigh, as he lifted his Avenger from the ground beside him. In a clunky, yet practiced motion, he checked the temperature regulation, refilled his almost empty clip, reloaded and finally aligned his sights. In the time it took him, Shepard had practically disassembled her weapon and managed to check it thoroughly. His brow furrowed and his lips dropped into the slightest of pouts, making Shepard smile with an odd sense of ease.  

But it faded all too quickly. 

Moretz, Giha and Dallas had gone to the scattered Makos, to scan and hopefully find one that worked.    
   
"Any luck?" Sascha called over to Moretz, only to sigh, in what Shepard assumed was irritation, when all he got in reply was a shake of the head. Ten minutes or so later, everyone regrouped, with Dallas being the only one to bear good news. There was _one_ Mako operational. The thrusters were shot, but the main systems were in working order. How? They didn't know...though they didn't really care, it was a way back to the LZ, it was another weapon against that _thing_.  

Shepard's eyes drifted to Dallas, who took a slight detour on his way back to the group. He stood on the edge of the hole in the ground and she silently thanked God that it had more or less been filled in with churned dirt and broken tiles; she'd seen enough people fall today.    
   
She felt it again, like the beating of drums beneath their feet, but it was growing louder by the second.. 

"Hey Dallas! You okay man?" Moretz called over, concern creasing his brows. 

Dallas turned on his heel and glanced back at his squad-mate.  

"Yeah I just, I thought I heard someth-"   
   
_Everything_ dropped into slow motion. 

The ground exploded in an eruption of rock and concrete. Tentacles and glowing blue eyes, a gaping mouth that reached down and plucked Dallas from the ground like he weighed little more than the dust that filled the air. He screamed. Blood spurted from his torso, and seeped out from his wounds as it clamped its jaws down around him, cutting him in half. He dropped to the ground with a dull thud. Dallas stared, wide-eyed and lifeless, his gaze locked on the marines.  

The sound it made was unholy. A bone-shattering screech that made their bodies ache. Everyone scrambled. 

Giha fell, emptying the contents of his stomach onto the floor as he stumbled and staggered towards the doorway. 

"Go! Go! Go!" Shepard bellowed, firing in controlled bursts at the creature's eyes, trying to draw its attention and give the others time. Her body shook, a mix of fear and adrenaline coursing through her veins. If she could give them a chance to run, she would. 

 _'Whatever it takes!'_ She thought, urging herself on.  

Shepard found it easy to ignore the barely lingering throb in her leg, relying purely on adrenaline as she ran. She backed up towards the garage door, her heart rapidly pulsating in her chest, threatening to break through her ribcage.  

The creature loomed over them, thrashing and shrieking as more of the marines turned their weapons to it. They roared their own battle cry, refusing to go down without a fight, while the more severely injured were helped to safety. It was five against one and the odds were still stacked against them.  

It drew back, as though preparing to coil its body. A blur of green flew from its mouth, splashing against the garage wall. Sascha dived out of the way, narrowly missing the burning liquid. The concrete hissed, melting into a thick paste, but they kept running, ignoring everything else. 

"If we can get to the LZ, we can radio for help and try to hold it off," Shepard shouted to Donovan over the cries of her friends and the thunder of gunfire.    
   
He nodded in reply his gaze lingering in her for a moment.   
   
"Everyone with me!" Donovan barked, a flare of biotic energy flashing around him as he threw a warp at the creature. It did nothing, the warp broke against its hide and faded to... _nothing_. "Shit!" He hissed, unleashing a volley of biotic attacks, all of them having no effect.    
   
Laska joined him, the two of them cohesively trying to dent its armour, but with one final, deafening screech, it coiled and dived back beneath the surface; the impact knocking them all off their feet. They fell to the floor, those who had lingered behind to fight the creature, now face down in the dirt as the others made it half way across the open field. It took them a few moments to realize they were even outside, the cold air biting at their skin through splintered armour.    
   
Shepard groaned, her face pressed to the mud, her body aching as she pushed herself up. Tired hands scrambled for purchase and her feet slid with every step.  

The ground shifted as the creature tunnelled its way under the building and towards the base of the mountain, rock and dirt rising to the surface as it carved a path.  

 _Shit._ _They had to keep moving._  

Toombs sprinted to Vale and pulled her to her feet, the young woman having managed to protect herself with a barrier. His eyes darted to Shepard, terror and concern flooding his gaze.  

Donovan appeared beside her, his hands grappling for hers amidst the chaos.    
   
"Tess!" The informal slip went unnoticed as he clambered to her, his eyes wide with unadmitted fear.  

The dust settled and everyone breathed a hesitant sigh of relief. _They had to keep moving_. Donovan rose to his feet, pulling Shepard with him, holding her against him. In the confusion, she hadn't realized she'd torn the bandage on her leg and blood as once again oozing steadily from her wound. Donovan made it seem as though he was supporting her, but she knew from the tightening of his grip, it was more; the illusion was enough that no one batted an eyelid. The two of them picked up pace, hobbling towards the others.   
   
They thought they were safe.   
   
They thought they had a moment of respite.   
   
_They were wrong._    
   
The now familiar and dreaded sound flooded the air, but this time it was different...   
   
"Is that-?" Donovan started, his eyes widening in horror.  

The entire area shook, the ground shifting beneath them. Dread sunk into the pit of her stomach and spread until it near consumed her. Shepard scanned the ground for her weapon, knowing it was pointless, but feeling defenceless without it.    
   
A loud thundering sound echoed in harmony with the cry of the creature and, as the marines turned to find the source, the buildings crumbled. A wave of coarse dust rippled from the rubble. It was like they were frozen, terror and fear pinning them where they stood. Donovan, without hesitation, wrapped himself around Shepard, holding her to his chest, shielding her from the cloud. His fingers threaded into her hair and for a split second, she heard his heartbeat hammering. A single moment of comfort, that was as fleeting as it was needed. Once the sweeping cloud had stopped, Donovan drew back, his gold hair now grey, his freckles shrouded by a layer of dirt and dust. She cast a cautious glance around, but no one cared anymore. No one cared whether people were close, or whether they were afraid...she could see it in their eyes, in _everyone's_ eyes. They just wanted to get out together.   
   
Within moments, as if summoned by the pungent scent of fear and the sound of the building's collapse, thecreature burst through the surface, shrouding them in darkness and fear. Still, no one could have expected what so swiftly followed...   
   
It screamed, a terrifying sound that wracked their bodies with fear and horror. They had been so focused on escaping the one...that they hadn't realized, they were being hunted. The ground behind them rose and fell as _something_ carved its way through the rock, its tentacles coiling and its eyes glowing in the familiar,  _piercing_ shade of blue.   
   
Shepard could see it written plainly on the marines' faces. Getting out together...was no longer an option. 

Toombs backed up and pulled a sobbing Vale against his side.   
   
"My God..." Donovan gasped, his fingers linking with Shepard's.    
   
_Now, it was survival._


	8. Survival

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things have escalated. People are dying in masses and with every moment that passes, hope drifts further away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *excited, terrified squealing*  
> ^^^I feel like this sums up my views justly. It shall suffice XD hahahaha

"Run! To the tree-line! Now!" Laska shouted, her voice hoarse and catching in her throat. A handful of the marines staggered across the field, already half-way and lead by the panicking Commander. 

Shepard moved to stop them, but was halted when Donovan held her against him.   
   
"No! It's too late." He was right. 

They barely made it fifteen feet before the creatures screeched in chaotic unison, unleashing a volley of attacks.  Laska activated a biotic sphere, her body rippling with lightning as she tried to protect them from the incoming acid, but it passed straight through like a blade through grass. 

Their agonized screams cut the air, severing any lingering strings of hope that had been holding them all together.    
   
"No!" Vale cried, her voice joining with the painful screeches of the beasts.  

It resounded in every bone within Shepard's body, it burned in the center of her mind. They had to kill those things if they were going to survive. It didn't matter where they ran, where they hid, they weren't going to be safe until those _things_ were dead. 

Laska slumped to the ground, her body limp and hitting the grass with a stomach-churning squelch. Her cheeks were gaunt, thin yet sagging, her helmet melted to her face... _what_ _was left of it._    
   
Shepard froze, fear locking every muscle in her body and bolting her to the ground. Her fingers twitched, eager to pull the trigger of her weapon and unleash whatever hell she could muster. But she couldn't.  

Toombs' hand wrapped around her wrist and he dragged her back towards the ruins, though she didn't realize she was moving until the shadow of a shattered doorway fell overhead. Her eyes stayed fixed on the massacre outside, her stomach turning relentlessly at the sight of the _melted_ people.    
   
A quiet groan caught her ear and that was when she saw him. Giha dragged himself across the ground, red and gaping from the knees down, his armour singed and smoking.    
   
She stepped forward, eager to go to him...but mere moments later, he slumped into an unmoving heap of blood and bile.    
   
"Fuck!" Toombs hissed, as he pushed himself off of the wall. "How the hell are we gonna get past those things?" He asked, a valid question that no one really had the answer to.    
   
Shepard groaned and slid to the floor, her armour grating on the wall. Donovan dropped to her side, his eyes narrowed and unfocused as they skimmed over her body.    
   
"We're outgunned, out-maneuvered, we might as well be bloody outnumbered too," Shepard added, her eyes briefly closed and she tried to push aside the pain that had returned with a vengeance. There were too many things to consider: What are they? Where do they come from? Why do they attack erratically yet display intelligence? Who'd authorize a pioneer mission on hostile ground? _When will this end?_    
   
"We're being hunted, aren't we?" Vale sobbed, her voice shifting with every shaking breath, it was both a question and a statement...and it was right.    
   
Shepard nodded, the motion making her head spin.   
   
"Yeah, it's the only thing that makes sense." She stated plainly.    
  
_'None of this makes any fucking sense!'_    
 

Sascha wrapped his arm around Vale, trying to comfort the fragile woman. 

Shepard's heart broke for her, she was young, vivid, idealistic; but now? Now all Shepard saw in Izabela Vale’s eyes was fear and hopelessness. She'd given up. Or was about to. The Lieutenant reached out a hand, taking Vale’s in her own. 

“We'll make it through this, together.” Shepard smiled softly, still fighting the tears and doubt that lingered behind her briefly closing eyelids. Her breaths slowed and her mind slowly sharpened as she tried to figure a way out, taking advantage of their momentary respite.  

Time seemed to drag and the longer their odd respite lasted, the more and more everything felt like it was about to get worse. 

Shepard rested her head against the wall and dragged to mind something Anderson had once told her. 

_“A soldier's greatest enemy isn't fear, it is time, because time allows a marine to think and too much thinking begets worry and fear...and they drive you to do mad things.”_

It hadn't made much sense to her before, but now she was beginning to understand. Her eyes drifted back to Vale, but then shifted to the man beside her. She hadn't noticed it before. Sascha was so calm, collected, it was almost as though he was void of all fear. Well, that’s what she thought, until she saw the slight tremble of his hands and the tightening of his grip on Vale.  

His dark eyes closed and he tried to breathe deeply, clearly, but his chest shook with every quaking inhale. 

“Sascha?” she asked, her hand reaching out to touch him.  

He started fidgeting, his hands clambering at each other as his eyes bounced around the fractured and crumbled door way.   
   
"Ma-" Toombs started, only to be cut-off by a bone-shattering screech.   
   
The building began to shake, it's weakened foundations collapsing further.    
   
Sascha grabbed Vale by the wrist and dragged her outside and away from the impending destruction.   
   
"No!" Donovan shouted, sprinting after them. They barely made it half-way...   
   
One of the creatures reared its head, opening it's gaping maw. Its chitin-like hide scratched and scraped and with a single flick of its tail as it dived underground, it knocked the stray Mako through the air.    
   
Time moved so quickly it was almost standing still.    
   
Then...in a single heartbeat...    
   
Shepard's eyes widened and she sped forward, realization hitting her in the chest and knocking the air from her lungs.    
   
Donovan had dived forward, knocking Sascha and Vale out of the way.    
   
Toombs' arms wrapped around Shepard and he pulled her back, both of them watching helplessly as Donovan rolled on the ground and activated a barrier. But it was too late. He was distracted. The barely-formed shield disappeared as the Mako hit him full force, every bone in his body shattering on impact.   
   
He flew through the air, before slamming into a fractured wall. Blood smeared on stone. _His_ blood.   
   
Donovan landed, still, unmoving, broken.   
   
"Adam!?" Shepard screamed, tears streaming down her mud-stained cheeks as she fought against Toombs' grip.    
   
He clamped a hand over her mouth and she cried into his palm, legs buckling from under her. She dropped to the floor, still wrapped in Toombs' embrace as her body shook with every jarring sob.   
   
No.   
   
No.   
   
No, no, no.   
   
This wasn't happening.   
   
It couldn't have been.   
   
Shepard squeezed her eyes shut until it started to hurt and prayed that when she opened them, she'd be back in her bed, enveloped in the warmth of Adam's arms.    
   
"Please, please, _please..._ " She sobbed, every wall she'd built, every ounce of strength she possessed, was crumbling.   
   
But when she opened her eyes, all she saw was Donovan's limp body, draped lifelessly on stone and grass. She couldn't breathe, every staggered inhale wracking her body with pain.   
   
"Fuck," she scrambled back towards a slab of fallen concrete, Toombs hands still reaching for her in lingering comfort.   
   
"Shit...Tess..." He breathed shakily, his eyes glossed with unshed tears.   
   
She stared at the ground between her legs, an endless stream of tears falling from her eyes as she sobbed. Broken. It felt like there was a blade cutting into her chest, moving deeper with every quaking breath. Her heart. Her world. Shattered. It was all surreal, faded in the forefront of her mind, like a persistent nightmare, it burned at her eyes. Shepard wept, the salt stinging at the scratches on her cheeks; the urge to give up, all but dominant.   
   
But, with every passing moment, sadness slowly edged its way towards anger.   
   
He wasn't meant to be here.   
   
He didn't volunteer for this mission.   
   
He didn't need to die.   
   
_None of them did._    
   
She clamped her eyes shut, squeezing until it hurt. Shepard wasn't sure whether to scream in sheer rage, or cry out in utter sorrow. Love. Anger. Hate. Heartbreak. Rage. Fear. It all fluttered behind her eyelids, swirling and blending until the iridescence turned black and darkness took its place. She could feel it crawling on her skin, its claws of depression scratching at her heart.   
   
Every ounce of her fought to focus, every inch of her aching body yearned to feel only one thing.    
   
Until, finally,  it settled. Rage. It chose rage.    
   
Toombs moved closer and wrapped his arms around her, before holding her at arms-length.   
   
"Shep," he sighed, his voice soft but dripping with acidity, an acidity not aimed at her. He shook her gently. "Shepard." She looked up at him, their eyes locking as they displayed the fires that flickered within them. "I _know_ it hurts, but we've got to keep moving," Toombs stated.    
   
_She didn't care anymore. She just wanted those bastards dead._    
   
Shepard listened, her eyes still fixed on his, though she knew that what he saw in hers would mirror both fire and void. It was all a contradiction. Contrasts swarming in unrelenting abundance. She was full of anger and sorrow, it bubbled beneath her skin and pricked tears in her eyes and yet...she was so utterly empty.    
   
Toombs cupped her cheeks and wiped away her tears with his thumbs. The creatures screeched outside, making the two marines flinch. In what she assumed was an act of comfort, he pressed a soft kiss to her forehead and somehow...it worked. Warmth seeped into her core, a flickering ember of hope.   
   
She rocked back and forth on her heels.   
   
"Don't give up, don't give up, don't give up..." Shepard muttered to herself, rocking back and forth on her heels. She had to push it aside, she had to force her pain to the back of her mind, she had to survive...and she was taking Toombs with her.    
   
_'Think, think,_ _think...What_ _would Adam do?'_    
   
Toombs looked at her thoughtfully, waiting for the idea he could probably see in the back of her mind. She glanced around the corner, aiming to catch a glimpse of the creatures, when her eyes settled on the crumpled Mako.    
   
"There's one working Mako left, if the garage isn't completely inaccessible...we might be in with a chance." Shepard stated, her brow lifted but furrowed in stressed doubt.    
   
Toombs nodded in agreement.   
   
"What would we do once there?" He asked, running a hand through the choppy brown layers of his hair.    
   
"I...I don't know." She sighed deeply, furrowing her brow again. Toombs seemed to sink into deep thought and the silence returned. The eeriness of it made her skin crawl, and somewhere, in the depths of her core, she wished that the creatures would just make their move and jar them from the unwanted suspense.    
   
Toombs smiled at her in a way that scared her, it was soft, sad...loving.   
   
"You'll think of something," he rose to his feet and loaded his weapon, eyes filled with unwavering focus. "What you _will_ need though, is a distraction," he added, the focus wavering, just for a moment as he looked her in the eyes. Toombs knelt down in front of her, took her face in his hands and pressed the softest of kisses to her cheek, before his lips travelled to her ear. "Run and don't look back."   
   
Before she even had the chance to react, he darted outside, a sheer determination radiating from him, despite the trembling of his hands. He shouted loudly.   
   
"Oi! You bastards!"    
   
He kept running, never staying still as he fired his weapon behind him.   
   
Shepard scrambled to her feet and ran. She ran as fast as her legs would carry her, one destination in mind. Her body hurt, her heart hurt. She ducked and dived through the wreckage of concrete and metal, squeezing through gaps and holes, never looking back. The ground crunched underfoot and the solidity sent a ripple of ache up her leg. She stumbled, and in that single moment, she heard Toombs cry out.    
   
"Fuck you!"    
   
A bone-shattering screech followed and, through a gaping hole in the wall, she saw the brief flash of gunfire before one of the creatures dived to its side, tearing through the complex with ease.    
   
The sounds of his last shots echoed in the clearing, like distant thunder shaking the mountains.    
   
As the building collapsed behind her, she jumped to her feet and sprinted. The roar of falling stone and metal resounded, growing closer with every passing second. A billowing cloud of dust swarmed towards her and she dived through the final, fractured doorway. She hit the ground with a thud and tucked her knees to her stomach. Her chest ached with every frantic beat of her heart.    
   
_'Danny...'_    
   
She screamed into the crook of her arms, luckily hidden by the thunderous collapse behind her. Her eyes opened, heavy and tired. Mud and dust caked her face, her own mask of grief and mourning. Her war paint.    
   
The creatures screeched in a victorious cacophony, pleased with their kill.    
   
She wept. Freely and without relent as she dragged herself through the mud, crawling on sore elbows and tired legs.  Every fiber of her being wanted to give up.   
   
_What was the point?_    
   
_'What was the point to any of this?'_    
   
But still she found herself crawling, pushing forward. She moved slowly, her face mere inches from the ground, the scent of dirt and blood clinging to her nostrils. Then the thought hit her.   
   
_'They'll send another team to investigate what_ _happened...and_ _they'll die too...like Danny did for you.'_  
   
She was being weak, selfish. She had to keep going. Alone.   


	9. Solitude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alone. Wounded. She knows what she has to do, no matter how much she doesn't want to...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There may be a few basic editorial issues and repetitions in this, but I'm so glad it's done :) thank you all so much!!
> 
> C&C are welcomed and appreciated!
> 
> I hope you enjoy!!

With trepidation tugging at her core, she slipped through the cracks in the garage wall. It was how she remembered it, if not worse. Chunks and slabs of concrete lay scattered through the large room, several blocking what had previously been their way out.  Darkness had flooded the garage, the only light coming from the strewn security lights and glow sticks, until she activated her omnitool and a burst of orange filled her view.    
   
"Shit..."     
   
Dirt and rock had been churned into a giant mound, stirring dread in the pit of her stomach. The Makos were still perched in their places, though all were partially covered by rock and metal. She didn't know what one had been found by Dallas, truth be told, she hadn't been paying much attention to him until he...until he...    
   
Her stomach growled in protest of the thought, the urge to vomit, threatening as her eyes found him. What was left at least. He gaped, oozing crimson from where the creature's grip had severed his torso from his legs. Bile rose in her throat, its bitter taste assaulting her palate, but she forced it back down, deciding to push through it. Everything reverberated in the forefront of her mind, like a vivid nightmare, caught in a twisted form of Deja vu.      
   
Staying close to the floor and, trying to make as little noise as she could, she lifted her omnitool, ignoring the ache in her shoulder. The orange light made her eyes sting and twinge with the sudden burst of brightness. She had to figure out which one it was, and quickly. Shepard waved her arm over the first, her scans showing it to be all but completely knackered, none of the main systems operational, not even the thrusters.    
   
"Come on..." She muttered to herself, her voice trembling with every uneasy breath. Shepard moved to the next Mako, her steps slow and hindered by the uneven ground. A frustrated sigh passed through her lips as she turned her attention to the next vehicle. It was covered in more rocks, slightly harder to access, but it was worth a shot.     
   
She strode up to the decent sized mound and prayed for a stroke of luck. With a quick swipe of her arm and a few passing moments, relief swelled in her chest. _It was the one_. Some of the rocks and concrete had damaged the armor, the thrusters were shot, but the engine and main gun still worked...and that was all she really needed.    
   
The creatures hadn't moved, but the ground still faintly trembled and they _chirped_ loudly, a hybrid of animal and insect, the unusual sound reverberated in her chest. Her breaths grew heavier and her head snapped to the side, her eyes fixed on the wall leading outside as shadows fluttered through the sporadic dots of light. Every sound and movement had her senses in overdrive, amplifying the fear she was trying to hide.    
   
Shepard turned her attention back to the vehicle and pulled at the chunks of concrete, trying to carve a way into the Mako. It took a few minutes, but as soon as the door was in sight, she clambered through the rubble and pried it open.     
   
It was empty inside, a thin layer of dust settling over every surface. Shepard slid cautiously into the driver's seat, she couldn’t drive, but she had to at least try. As her hands hovered over the controls, fear bubbled in her chest. The moment she started the engine, those _things_ were going to be on top of her. She had to move quickly.     
   
Shepard sighed and braced herself, determination fighting to take root. The engines started with a low, deep rumble and the rubble that covered the vehicle began to shake, and vibrate as the Mako came to life beneath it. It wasn't enough.     
   
Outside, the creatures howled, and she had no doubt that they could hear the growl of the Mako's engine. She had to act.     
   
'It's now or _never...make every shot count.'_    
   
She breathed deeply, her fingers grazing over the trigger for the main canon. With one quick squeeze, she tore a hole through the rubble and the opposing wall. Her heartbeat thundered as she slammed her foot down on the accelerator, speeding through the shattered wall as pieces of debris rained to the ground around her.     
   
Their faces flashed before her eyes.     
   
_Elijah Owen Ellis (Eli), twenty-three. Isabel Vale, twenty-one._ _Rion_ _Sascha_ _, twenty-two._ _Adam Donovan, twenty-seven. Daniel Toombs, twenty-two._    
   
The universe seemed to seep into slow motion as the creatures fell into her sight, the two writhing towers of chitin and venom perched in waiting. The Mako skidded across the ground, mud and grass churning beneath its aching wheels as she lined up the canon. Sweat beaded on her forehead and her breaths slowed to match the steady thump of her heart. This was it. She knew exactly what she had to do.    
   
With the faces of her friends burned into the forefront of her mind, she pulled the trigger.    
   
She forced the accelerator down and drove, never staying still, never ceasing fire. Shepard released an unrelenting volley of rockets at the monsters, anger fueling every strike, rage fanning every explosion. The creatures screeched in pain, a blood curdling sound that made Shepard clamp her hands over her ears, but it was pointless. Her armoured fingers dug into her scalp as she tried to fight the pain building between her eyes. She screamed loudly, the sound tearing from her lips in a blur of frantic noise. Tears pricked at her eyes and she pushed through, refusing to give in to the pain. The Mako skidded, carving through the mud and she took the steering wheel in a vice-like grip, pulling it back into some form of control.    
   
Shepard lined back up and continued to fire, her anger and hurt more evident than ever as she drove directly towards them.    
   
_'For them...'_    
   
Her brow furrowed and she spun the wheel, sending the Mako into an erratic slalom as she tried to avoid the attacks of falling acid. She fired a round at the one creature's eyes.   
   
The beast roared as a flash burst on it's skin and rich purple began seeping down its side. It started to thrash in what she assumed was panic, the chitinous plates grinding against its leathery hide. They were weakening, and she didn't stop.    
   
Shepard swerved hard, skidding across the grass, the Mako's wheels groaning in protest. The other creature reared its head, let out a sound akin to something demonic and spat.  The single shot of acid hit one of the rear wheels and the Mako spun out of control as the viscous liquid melted through the metallic hide.    
   
"Shit!" Shepard cursed. Before she got the chance to slam on the brakes, the Mako jolted, spinning through the air after having collided with a stray lump of rock. She tried to strap herself in, but fumbled pointlessly; she hadn't thought about it, she hadn't considered her own safety when climbing into the Mako, thinking less about survival and more about killing those _things_. The Mako came to a crashing halt, pain shooting through her shoulder, leg and her forehead.   
   
"Argh! Fuck!" She groaned, falling limply against the wall. Everything around her kept spinning and throbbing, blood trickling down her forehead until she could taste the bitter, metallic liquid on her lips. She wiped a hand over her mouth, smearing the blood across her armour, turning the faded black a dark shade of red. She scrambled for the emergency hatch, craving to get out of her metal confines. Shepard slid down the side, crying out in pain as her feet hit the floor with a jarring thud. She pressed her back to the metal, her body aching and reeling from the contact.    
   
The creatures mewled, and then at least, she knew she'd wounded them.    
   
"I need to finish this..." She breathed, her lungs straining in her chest. There was one thing left that she could do. The last resort. With a pained groan, she lifted her arm, the omnitool flickering to life with a stammer.    
   
_'If I can overload the primary...the primary...'_ She winced and leaned her head back against the Mako, the pounding behind her eyes making it hard to think. Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes, blurring her already hindered vision. She tried to push the pain and breathlessness aside, her heart aching in her chest.   
   
_'The primary conduit...overheat the engines...blow the system...'_ She tapped tiredly at her interface, using the last of her omni-gel to bypass the coolant system so the Mako would overheat. Once she started the simultaneous detonations, she'd have six to seven seconds to get clear. _'Should be enough...'_    
   
She fought to stand, her body resisting the small movements. She knew she wouldn't have long, especially with the explosives the Mako was already carrying. But this was it. This was how it ended, one way or another. _Hard_ was an understatement; fatigue clawed at her eyelids, trying to force them closed and pull her further into vulnerability. She couldn't let that happen.    
   
The Mako growled and her omnitool flashed in warning, 'System overload imminent'. _'Time to run.'_ She groaned, making the final push and forcing herself to stand.   
   
Shepard staggered away from the Mako, clutching at her waist; with her heart pounding in her chest like a deer caught in a hunter's crosshairs. She turned to face _them_ , her brow furrowed, and whistled, drawing them back to her and stirring them from their dormancy; though the one merely mewled from it's place on the floor. They chirped, the blue luminescence on their 'heads' flickering as they twisted and turned, bringing their attention around to the woman who wasn't as dead as she may have seemed.    
   
_'There's one left...'_    
   
"Come and get me you bastard!" Her voice coarse like gravel in her throat.    
   
So it did.    
   
It roared and snarled as it leaped towards her, with what she assumed was anger in its eyes.    
   
She ran, trying to balance against her limp as she timed the creature's approach.    
   
3...   
   
_'Come on.'_    
   
_2..._    
   
_'Just a little closer.'_    
   
_1..._    
   
_'Now!'_    
   
She dived into the tree-line, slamming her hand onto her omnitool and activating the power surge. The Mako growled again, before exploding in a flurry of fire and metal.  Shepard took cover behind a tree-trunk, using it as her shield against the shards of flying shrapnel. She could feel the heat that carved through the air, licking at the edges of her armour and stirring relief in the back of her mind.    
   
The creature chittered, the sound blending with the slow grinding of it's scaled plates, an eerie symphony as it sunk to the floor, the azure light fading from its _eyes_.    
   
The urge to sink to the floor and sleep lingered at the corners of her mind, trying to drag her down into its depths now that it was over.   
   
_It was over._    
   
Her breath hitched in her lungs and she sobbed, happiness and sorrow melding into a growing cloud of subtle melancholy. All she had to do was make it through the short stretch of forest and to the LZ. Simple enough, but given the seductive call of sleep and the nagging pain that dug at her head, she knew it wouldn't be easy.   
   
_'No, not yet it isn't.'_    
   
She pushed away from the tree, stumbling into the darkness of the forest. Holding her waist with one hand, she extended the other, using the orange glow of her omnitool to light the way forward. The leaves crunched underfoot, crisp and dry and cold breeze swept through the air, navigating its way through the branches, brushing against her armour and sensitive skin. She shuddered, the small motion drawing a groan from her dried lips. Everything hurt. She was free, alive, but broken.   
   
It was in the dark that the pain was most visible.    
   
Any adrenaline in her system had started to fade away, drawn out of her by fear. The trees towered above her, drowning her in shadow and closing in, confining her in the growing darkness. Yet she didn't slow down. She pressed on, grunting as twig and branch scratched at her skin.  Every resounding, painful ache urged her to stop, to let the fatigue consume her and drift into a sleep she may not wake from. But despite the growing pit of grief, she fought it, stumbling through the void with her goal set in her mind. If she could get back to the shuttles, she could call for an evacuation, or, if it was all she could manage, she'd at least warn them.    
   
_'No one else dies here.'_    
   
She picked up pace and hobbled her way back to the landing zone. Her gut told her it wasn't far. Her head told her to slow down.  She limped clumsily over rocks and roots, her heart racing with every uneven step that threatened to send her tumbling to the ground.    
   
Until she did.    
   
Shepard gasped sharply, crying out as she hurtled to the floor with an agonizing thud. Hopelessness blending with shadow. Her eyes closed and she saw his face; a flash of a smile, warm and loving...that jarred harshly into a vivid image of blood on stone. Limp. Lifeless. The man she loved was dead. Three years...lost in moments.    
   
She thought...she _hoped_...that one day they'd marry, that they'd grow old and live in Alberta together. Foolish. Stupid. How could that have ever happened? How could she have possibly thought that they'd make it?    
   
_Because she loved him._    
   
Embraced by the leaves and mud, she curled into ball, laying on her side with her legs tucked up to her chest. Her own, feeble comfort.    
   
In the distance, soft mewling floated through the air, weak and dying, carried by the gentle wind. It's icy fingers trailed up her spine, making her violently shudder and recede further into herself. She cried, every emotion, every ounce of pain and fear searing her senses, pushing her further into the void in her chest.    
   
She wasn't sure how long she laid there, weeping into her arms, flinching at every chitter of the dying _creatures._ Until finally, it stopped. Silence. Everything became eerily still, the only sounds being the _whoosh_ of the breeze and the hammering of her own frantic heartbeat. The forest filled with a stillness, a tenebrosity that terrified her.    
   
_Dark._    
   
_So dark...The world beyond the reach of her omnitool, shrouded in black._    
   
The forest closed around her like the metal box Finch had once-upon-a-time, made her home. Its icy walls confining her in her own personal, permanent night. She could feel it, the metal biting at her ankles, her knees pulled to her chest as she controlled her breathing.    
   
_'Remember what to do...'_    
   
She breathed deeply, slowly, counting to three with every inhale. It hurt. But she had a list of things that hurt more.   
   
_'You've gotta keep moving Nik, they didn't die so you could give up now...'_    
   
Shepard clambered to her feet, her boots slipping on the hard ground, her body having nearly given up.   
   
"Come on," she muttered, her voice quiet and rough, catching in her dried throat.    
   
Her limbs ached, every joint sensitive to the unwanted pressure. She hissed, clamping a hand to her waist and ribs, something was broken, though she wasn't sure what.    
   
_'Could be anything at this rate.'_    
 

She lifted her omnitool, opening her map to the landing zone.    
   
_'It shouldn't be far.'_    
   
She sighed with relief, an ember of hope flickering in her chest.   
   
"One klick...thank God." There it was again, hope.    
   
Despite her injuries, it took little time to reach the clearing; determination having taken root.  

She could see it ahead, the break in trees that glowed with an ethereal light; and regardless of the ' _don't go into the light_ ' that blared in her mind, she pushed on, hope victorious over fear. 

  _The shuttles should still be_ _there...if_ _I can get a message out, maybe I can get off this fucking rock.'_    
  
Shepard sighed, nudging branches aside with her free arm. Maybe, just maybe, she'd be okay now. Though if she was honest with herself, she couldn't shake the worry that something else would go wrong...   
  
She clambered across the grass, happiness and hope growing with every staggered step. Shepard open the door and dived inside, fearing that maybe, now she's found some ounce of possibility, something might go wrong.  

"Please be working...," she quietly begged, there was no reason it shouldn't have, but luck seemed to be favouring anyone but her. "Come on..." She glanced behind her, scanning the shadow out of sheer paranoia.  
  
The crackle of an active comm-link was like the voice of an angel, a sign that maybe something was watching over her after all.  

"Mayday, mayday! This is Lieutenant Tes-...Nikola Shepard from the Akuze landing party, is anyone there?"   

 _Silence_. 

The sound of hope wavering. 

 _Silence_. 

The overwhelming sensation of loneliness that rears its head. 

 _Silence_.  

 _'You really are out of luck.'_  

But then... 

"Hello? Lieutenant? This is Comm-Officer Dare, do you read me?" 

Hope. An ember of it.  

"I read you! Thank God..." She sunk to the floor. Tired. No, exhausted. Tears trickled down her cheeks, the salt stinging the scratches that littered her face. 

"It's been six hours since the report was due, what happened down there Lieutenant?" the woman on the other end asked. 

How could she answer that? How could she possibly summarized the horror of the past day?  

How could she tell them that everyone was dead? 

"I...We..." She barely started before her tears of joy turned to sobs, wracking her lungs. Shepard pulled her legs up to her chest, hugging her legs to herself asthough they'd fall off without the help.  

"Lieutenant?" 

"The colonists are dead." Short. Simple. Straight to the point. She tried to stop her heart from pounding.  

"I see...and your squad? Where's Commanders Donovan and Laska?"  

"They're gone...everyone's gone." She rocked back and forth.  

It started to _truly_ sink in. 

They're all dead and she, was all that remained of over fifty marines.  

 _'How does that happen? How can I be all that's left?'_  

Her heart shattered, like a pane of glass struck by a relentless volley of stones. One by one they fell, until she was alone; stone after stone, she cracked and broke.  

 _'Commander Adam Matthew Donovan...'_  

She wanted to be held. She wanted to be wrapped up in his arms as she cried, sung to sleep by the gentle beat of his heart. He was always so gentle, so kind and strong... 

'Adam...God...Adam...' 

He was her rock.  
  
Now it was just _her_.  

"I'm all that's left..." 

The Comm-Officer had paused, undoubtedly hearing Shepard's cries.  
  
"I see...we can debrief once you're safe, let's get you home Lieutenant."  
  
She needed it.   
  
_Home_.    
  
Minutes seemed to drag into hours. Hours seemed to drag into days...and they probably did. 

Time, the irrelevance of it, came as no surprise to her.  

So she slept. The shuttle's supply of medigel and rations, was nothing short of a Godsend. Full and in less pain (and bleeding far less) than before, she allowed herself to drift into a soft slumber. Not fearing the pull of sleep, but instead welcoming it. It also helped. It helped her forget the hurt in her heart, that was...until the rapid appearance of nightmares.  

All of it happened at once. The call of Toombs' voice as he cried out before his death. The sound of Donovan hitting the concrete. The demonic glow of the creature's eyes. All of it haunted her, burned into her senses. Blood on stone. Pulp and bone. Fresh. Raw.  

A bright, vivid light jarred her from her nightmare. Voices clamoured outside the door, joined by the shuffle of armoured footsteps.   
  
_Panic_.   
   
Whoever pulled at the door, seemed to quickly realize she'd locked herself in the shuttle.   
   
'My gun...where's my gun?' She scrambled to find it. The images of the previous day still fresh in the forefront of her mind, all she could do was try to defend herself. _'I mustn't have killed them...shit!'_    
   
The voices loudened, she heard them, but the didn't really register. They were wisps of noise, lingering on the edge of her senses, dulled by the fear that clung to her every fiber. Yes, it was over, but it was in the quiet that everything became so loud.    
   
_"Lieutenant?"_    
   
She backed up against the wall of the shuttle, her eyes wide with panic.    
   
_Hearing things. She had to be._    
   
"Lieutenant?"    
   
That, was a lot clearer.   
   
"Lieutenant Shepard, are you there?"   
   
She drew her knife.   
   
"W-who is it?" she asked, trepidation and fear hand-in-hand. Shepard stayed against the wall, knife extended; the door opened with an agonized creak and light flooded the small vehicle. She lifted a hand to her eyes, shielding her view from the pale golden light.  

It was morning. 

A marine stepped through the doorway, the same golden sunlight haven taken root in his brown eyes. 

She clamoured for purchase behind her, feeling for some form of stability. All sense of protocol and regulation left her, the only thing stopping her from defending herself, being the fatigue and fear that clung to every muscle in her body. Sure she had eaten -one meal-, sure she'd slept -barely-...but now? Now all she wanted to do was go home. Shepard dropped her knife to the floor and tried to straighten, her body resisting the motion.  

His N7 armour glinted in the light, it's red stripe catching her eye.   
   
_'Anderson...it can't be...'  
  
_ It took for his face to fade into view, for her to truly believe she wasn't imagining it...  
  
"It had to be you...it's always you." She flashed a weak smile, the hint of happiness outweighed by the sea of melancholy in which she swam. Her neck ached under the weight of her tired head, ebony waves obscuring her vision as her eyes glistened with more tears. She stepped forward cautiously, reaching a hand out to him, but one-by-one everything stopped working. Like a switch being turned off in the back of her head. Shepard stumbled, his arms catching her as he lead her away from the shuttle.   
   
"Come on Shepard, let's get you out of here."   
  
\----------------------------------  
   
_[Vancouver - 5 years ago --_    
   
_The cold of the concrete bit through her t-shirt and the heavy rain lapped at her legs. She was weak, tired, life lingered_ _in the fringes of what she could feel. A shadow loomed over her, strong and certain._ _Sh_ _e_ _could feel his gaze on her, eyeing the gaping wound in her side._    
   
_His name printed on his chest. Anderson._    
   
_"Come on, let's get you somewhere safe."]_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To those who read and reviewed, to those who read and enjoyed, even to those who perhaps didn't like it...Thank you all for taking the time to read this, it's probably one of the things I'm most proud of and I couldn't have done it without all you and your incredible support <3


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